Biker's Virgin

“Well, I mean, yes, it is a date, but... I’m kind of being forced to go. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded,” I added quickly. “I don’t know what details Amy told you...”

“She didn’t really tell me anything. I don’t know Amy that well, actually, I’m friends with her cousin. Is... is something going on that I should know about?”

“I’m just telling you this because I want to be up-front.” If I didn’t say anything now, I had a feeling that Jay would think we had hit it off really well, and he’d want to go on a second date, and then I’d have to break it to him that I wasn’t interested in anyone at all, really, and that I was on this date because he was supposed to be a rebound. I didn’t want that to happen. “This guy recently broke up with me...” I started, and then I trailed off, not quite sure how to finish the sentence.

“Ah,” he said. “I’m the rebound.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think that it would be a good idea, but Amy was pretty persistent about it. She made it sound like it wouldn’t bother you or anything. And I’m not saying you’d fall in love with me, but... it just seems kind of like a shitty thing to do to someone.”

Jay nodded. “Well, I sure do appreciate your honesty. And yeah, I’m not really looking to be anyone’s rebound, no offense, but... if you wanted, we could at least go in and get a bite to eat. I’m starving. This place has great buffalo wings, if you’ve never been here before.”

“I haven’t. And... sure, we can get something to eat. If you’re okay with that.”

He smiled. “Honestly? It takes some of the pressure off of me. Guess I didn’t need to smoke that cigarette, after all.”

We went inside to the restaurant, and we were seated at a booth by the window. Jay was easy to talk to, in part, I think, because there were no expectations anymore. This wasn’t a date, this wasn’t going to be a rebound, and now that we’d gotten that out of the way, we were both able to relax. For the first time since Cole had broken up with me, I felt like I was actually enjoying myself a little bit, and it felt good to know that I hadn’t completely forgotten how to have a good time.

The only slightly awkward moment came when the waitress left our check.

“I know this isn’t a date,” Jay said, “but at least let me get the bill.”

“No, no, I’ve got cash on me; we can split it,” I said.

We squabbled over it for a few more seconds until he finally relented. “You know,” he said, as he slid his wallet back into the rear pocket of his pants, “whoever this guy was that broke up with you—he’s a bona fide fool.”

I felt myself blush a little. “That’s nice of you to say,” I said.

“Well, I mean it.”

There was a pause, and that would’ve been the time to kiss. It could have happened; even though we had laid the ground rules when we’d first arrived at the restaurant, I could’ve leaned in a little, and he would’ve kissed me; I knew it. I liked him, too—just not in that way. Would it make me feel better to tell him I had changed my mind, that I wanted to sleep with him, to take me back to his place that very instant? Maybe. Or maybe not, I didn’t know, but tonight would not be the night to find out.

After I said goodnight to Jay, I realized that I actually did feel better, despite the fact that we weren’t going to have sex. It had just been nice to be out somewhere, talking with someone, and it had taken my mind off of Cole.

When I pulled into the driveway, though, I saw that his garage door was open, the light was on. He was probably in there working on his bike or something, and I tried to ignore the urge I had to run over there and see him.

The next morning, I slept late. It was Saturday, I didn’t have any plan for the day, and as I dozed, I was vaguely aware that I could faintly hear Cole and Declan outside. Their voices sort of infiltrated my dreams, though when I finally got up and looked out the window, his car was gone.

Of course I was wondering where he went, though I also felt a little bit of relief that he wasn’t there and maybe would be gone the whole day. It was such a strange paradox of feelings, wanting to see him yet not wanting to have to go through the awkwardness of an actual encounter. I hated that it was this way between us now, that something could go from being so wonderful to almost unbearable in the blink of an eye.

I was making coffee when I heard a knock at the door. I glanced outside again as I went to answer it; Cole’s driveway was still empty. So at least I knew it wasn’t him.

It was Ben.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Way to make a guy feel welcome,” he said, though he had a smile on his face. “Are you busy? I wanted to talk for a minute, if you weren’t.”

“Come on in.” I stepped aside as he came in. His bike was leaning against the oak tree in the front yard. “You rode here?”

“Yeah.”

“Cole’s not home.”

“I can see that, but I’m not actually here to see him.”

I sighed. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though.” He went over and leaned against the counter. “Listen, Allie,” he said. “I normally wouldn’t get involved like this, because really, it’s not my business. I feel kind