Cowboy Baby Daddy

“Not talking about this,” I said, coughing a little to try and hide my discomfort.

“Dad, you are so old-fashioned,” she said exasperatedly. “I’m just saying this so that we can have an honest conversation about birth control and STDs. You need to protect yourself, you know. People in your age group are the second highest risk group, right after seniors in assisted living facilities.”

“What in the hell?” I exclaimed. “Where on earth are you learning these things? And how do you know seniors are the highest risk group?”

“Dad, I learn this stuff in health class,” she said, in a tone that reminded me of my mother. I bit my tongue to keep from laughing as she continued, “It’s not shameful; it’s practical. And seniors are the highest risk group because you don’t stop having sex just because you get old! Besides, they’re all living together and jumping into each other’s beds. You’re so behind the times. Seriously, dude.”

“Do you talk to your mother about this stuff?” I asked, trying to gauge her comfort level.

“Yes, Dad,” Nina laughed. “Mom’s obsessed with making sure I have more information that I’ll ever need. She’s obsessed, really.”

“Don’t talk about your mother like that,” I said, weakly protesting her criticism despite the fact that I knew exactly how Remy would respond to a conversation like this, and it wouldn’t be well.

“I’m not saying anything I don’t already say to her,” Nina said. “Basically, I just wanted you to know that you shouldn’t use oil-based lube with condoms; it degrades the rubber and makes them unsafe. Water-based lube is best.”

“Can we please not have this conversation right now?” I asked, as I steered us into the driveway and turned off the truck. “I’m very glad that you have so much knowledge about this stuff, but your old man needs a little time to process the fact that you know it. Give me until tomorrow morning?”

“Gotcha, Dad,” Nina nodded, as she opened the door and stepped out, calling over her shoulder, “I wouldn’t want you to have a heart attack because your daughter knows something you don’t.”

I reached down and scooped up a handful of snow, quickly packed it, and then aimed it at her, hitting her squarely between the shoulder blades as she walked to the front door.

“Childish,” she called. “That’s so very childish, Dad!”

“I wish you’d stay a child,” I muttered, as I foll

owed her up the walk. “Growing up sucks for dads.”

Chapter Twenty-Four

Emily

By the next morning, Howard had forgiven my absence and was curled up next to me in bed, purring softly. I lay there petting his head as I recalled the night before and how wonderful it had been to spend the evening with Blake, getting to know his friends and colleagues. Nina had grown more comfortable with her father dating me, and I felt like maybe the trip to the Waltham Museum had gotten through to her in a way that I hadn’t been able to before.

“I gotta get up, little man,” I said, as patted Howard’s head one more time before I slipped out of bed and padded to the kitchen to make some coffee. I turned on the radio and sang along with the playlist of classic rock hits, and realized that I missed KO more than I’d anticipated.

I thought about calling her, but when I looked at the clock, I realized she’d probably been up all night partying and would still be fast asleep. I’d do it later. Howard hopped up on the counter and stared at me accusingly.

“Yes, yes, I know,” I said, pulling a can of food out of the cupboard. “You’re still pissed at me for missing the wet food drop yesterday. It’s not as if you didn’t have a full bowl of dry food ready and waiting, mister.”

Howard blinked once and then looked out the window, indicating that my explanation was wholly unacceptable. I shook my head as I served up his breakfast on the counter and turned to the fridge to make my own meal.

“You know, you’re a poor substitute for Blake,” I said, as I sat down at the counter with my toast and a jar of peanut butter. Howard ignored my insult and continued eating. I thought about calling Blake but decided that since we had plans for later, it would be best to leave him alone and not seem so desperate.

“Oh my gosh,” I laughed, with a mouth full of peanut butter toast. “Listen to me. I sound like a high school girl with a crush on the quarterback!”

Howard gave me the side eye, and then hopped down from the counter and stretched out in a patch of sunshine, where he proceeded to clean himself. I quickly finished my breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, and then went to take a shower and get ready for whatever adventure Blake had planned for us today.

I was curled up on the couch with a book on early 20th century Massachusetts history when I heard a knock at the door. I popped up off the couch and ran to welcome Blake into the house, but when I opened the door, I felt nothing but dread.

“Hello, Emily,” my mother said. My father nodded without saying anything as my mother looked at me and asked, “Aren’t you going to invite your parents in?”

“How did you find me?” I blurted out.

“Please, Emily, we know people in this town,” my father said pointedly. “Now, are you going to invite us inside or must we have this conversation on the stoop?”

“Of course,” I said in a meek voice, as I stepped back and gestured at the living room. “Won’t you please come in?”

“That’s more like it,” my mother nodded. “All those finishing school lessons paid off after all.”