Daddy's Virgin (A CEO Boss Romance Novel)

“I’m usually not,” I admitted. “Daphne and I would hold hands in public, and that was about it. I’ve never really been one for public displays of affection. But with you…it’s different.”

I could tell that those words meant a lot to her. She didn’t want to be compared to Daphne all the time, nor did she want our relationship to mimic the one I’d had with Daphne because that would reduce her to a paler version of a stronger love. We were both starting to realize that this was a relationship in its own right—and it had nothing to do with Daphne.

We made it to the shack I had told her about and I ordered burgers and hot dogs and shakes. Then we found a bench with a spectacular view of the ocean, and we sat down to enjoy our lunch. For the first time, I wasn’t checking my watch or anxious about meetings. I just wanted to sit here with Kristen and enjoy good food and good conversation without having to worry about anything else.

“Maybe I’ll buy a yacht,” I said suddenly.

Kristen raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you’ll buy a yacht?”

“Yeah… Why not?”

“You’re serious?”

I smiled. “I told you I loved sailing… And think about it, if I bought one, we could sail into the ocean and spend the whole day on the sea. Noah would love that.”

She smiled. “That does sound kinda perfect.”

I nodded. It was the first time that I’d planned anything, and it gave me a little thrill of excitement. Was it possible to leave behind pain? Was it possible to let go of all the anger and frustration and just be happy? Sitting there with Kristen…it certainly felt like it.

Chapter Thirty

Kristen

“I was thinking…”

“Yeah?” I asked, looking up at Jake.

There was something different about him today. He seemed more open somehow. As though the beach and the walk and the conversation had given him permission to be excited about his future. I realized that this was possibly the first time he was looking towards the future with any kind of optimism.

“Maybe we could go away sometime, the three of us?” he suggested.

I wondered if he was a little nervous asking me in the first place. If it hadn’t been for the secret I was keeping, I would have been thrilled. As it stood though, I had this huge weight on my chest. I had been trying to work up the courage to tell him, but my fear of losing him and Noah was preventing me from taking the leap. I wanted to be braver, but my fear was crippling.

“I was thinking we could do a road trip of sorts,” Jake continued. “We could drive into the next state, maybe stay a day or two with Aunt Margo, and then just go wherever the wind takes us.”

I smiled. “That’s a beautiful plan.”

“I used to dream about doing that one day when I had a family of my own.”

I paused a second as Jake’s expression faltered a little. I put my hand on his. “Did you and Daphne plan on taking a road trip with Noah one day?”

“Actually, no,” Jake replied. “Daphne hated the idea of road trips. She didn’t like being stuck in a car for long stretches of time. And anyway, we never really planned any family trips to begin with. After Noah was born, Daphne was depressed for a long time, and then she re-enlisted and went overseas, and…she never came back.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder and rubbed his arm gently. “Do you think things would have been different if she had stayed?”

“Meaning would she have gotten over the post-partum?” he clarified.

“Yes.”

“I honestly don’t know,” he replied. “And believe me, I’ve spent hours thinking about all the different possibilities. Daphne wasn’t ready to be a mother… Hell, I wasn’t ready to be a father. She was twenty-three, and I was twenty-four. We had our lives planned

out, and children didn’t enter into it for another decade, at least. I think she didn’t really want to be pregnant, but she convinced herself she was happy.

“Then she found herself back home living a civilian’s life, and I was still in Afghanistan being a soldier, and she just grew sadder and sadder. I think she hoped that that would change once Noah was born, and honestly, I hoped the same thing. But then… Noah was born, and everything just got worse.”

“I wish I could have been there for her,” I said, without thinking.

“What?” Jake said, looking at me with shock.