Firefighter's Virgin

“What?”

“When I meant I was moving, I just meant that I was moving apartments,” she explained. “I didn’t want to continue living in Brent’s old place.”

“Oh,” I said, finally understanding. “Thank God.”

“Thank God?” she repeated, with raised eyebrows.

“Uh, yeah…”

“Does that mean you would miss me if I left town?”

“I think you know the answer to that,” I said.

She smiled. “That’s good to know.”

“So just to be clear, you’re not moving from Philly, are you?” I asked.

“No,” Megan confirmed, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “No, I’m not moving out of Philly. I’m just going to be moving into an apartment ten minutes away from Brent’s place. I’ll have a new roommate, but the rent is affordable, and the apartment is small, but decent. I can manage there for a few years until I save enough to be able to afford something on my own.”

I nodded silently.

“Like I said, I’m taking some courses, and I’ve resolved to finish my degree in some way. That way I can climb up the ranks and can get to a managerial position someday. It’s a long way off, but it’s a start.”

“Right…”

“And, I don’t know…you hear stories every day. People from bad neighborhoods who rise above their circumstances, work hard, keep their heads down, and they achieve great things. Maybe one day I may even start a company of my own. I mean, I don’t even know if I can run a company on my own, but I figure, the world is my oyster, right? I’ll give it my best shot, and if it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. At least I tried… At least I—”

I stared at Megan as she rambled on. I tried to interrupt her a couple of times, but she just kept talking over me as though she were scared to let me speak. In the end, I decided to let her talk and see how long she could keep this up.

Somehow, she transitioned into her parents from her future plans, and I tried not to smile as I listened to her in amusement.

“I think Mom and Dad still see me as a little girl. Brent was always their favorite. I know most kids just think they’re parents have favorites, but I know it for sure. Brent was their golden child. He could do no wrong. He would come home from school with Cs, and he would get major praise for working so hard, but if I ever came home with an A-minus, I would never hear the end of it.

“Maybe being independent and making it on my own will finally show my parents that I’m not a kid anymore and that I am obviously the more responsible one of their two children. Still, I have a feeling that Mom and Dad won’t get over this Brent thing easily. I mean, not that I expect them to… He is their child, after all.

“Oh man, am I being a total jerk by being so self-centered while my brother is in jail and my parents are heartbroken over it? It’s not that I don’t care about Brent anymore, it’s just that I hate what he did and—”

“Megan!” I said finally.

Her eyes went wide, and she stopped talking. “Uh…yes?”

“I don’t mean to interrupt you,” I said. “But you’ve been talking for seventeen straight minutes.”

“Have I?”

“I think you know you have.” I nodded. “Are you nervous about something?”

“Well…maybe.” She nodded.

“What are you nervous about?” I asked gently.

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something,” Megan said. “And I suppose I was trying to prolong the moment before you told me…whatever it is you wanted to tell me.”

“Why?”

Megan looked down and stuttered over her first few words. “Well… I… I suppose it’s because I suspect I know what topic you’re going to bring up and I’m frightened that it’s not going to be what I want to hear. So I figured if I just kept talking… It obviously wasn’t a very well thought out plan.”

I smiled at her and reached out for her hand. Megan stared at my open palm for a second and then tentatively, she slipped her hand into mine.