Firefighter's Virgin

“I’m all set,” I said. “If that’s all you wanted to talk about, then I better get going.”

“That’s it. Thank you for meeting with me. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Though I do plan to make an appearance when our friend from Dubai is back in town, so maybe I’ll see you again. Take care, Ian.”

“Yeah, you too.”

I left him there to eat those fucking egg rolls and feel self-satisfied that he could now add professional matchmaker to his resume. Fuck him! I was seething as I walked back toward my car, but there was nothing I could do about it. And fuck him for only now telling me about that shit with Pete. I wanted to think that he was lying, but I knew he wasn’t.

Now all I had to do was figure out what the hell I was going to tell Daisy.

When I got back to the office, she was all smiles.

“Hey!” she said. She came over and wrapped her arms around me, and automatically, my own arms went around her waist, my head leaning down to kiss her. I closed my eyes and really felt that kiss, really allowed myself to just get lost in it because this was the last time that was going to happen. And it’s funny how much more attention you pay to something when you know it’s the last time you’re ever going to get to experience it.

When we pulled apart, my vision blurred a little; what the fuck was this? Was I about to start crying? I blinked and pretended like I’d gotten something in my eye.

“Hey yourself,” I said. “Sorry—I don’t know what the hell this is in my eye. Hold on.”

“Do you want to go out to dinner tonight?” she asked. “Caroline was telling me about this new restaurant that just opened near her office, and it’s supposed to be really good.”

“Uh . . .” This was going to suck. She looked so happy right now, and I was about to completely ruin that. But I couldn’t put it off. Prolonging it would only make it worse, even though Seamus probably wouldn’t begrudge me one last dinner date. “I can’t,” I said.

“Oh, okay. Maybe another time, then. I would like to check it out, though. Did you have something else that you wanted to do? And how’d it go with Seamus? What was so important that he had to see you in person to tell you?”

“Actually . . . Daisy . . . there’s something that I need to talk to you about.”

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Daisy

“Okay,” I said.

“Jonathan’s not here yet?”

“No, it’s just us. He called though; he said he’ll be in later. He had to go meet with someone in Revere.”

Ian nodded and took a deep breath. “This isn’t . . . this isn’t what I want . . . I mean, there’s no good way to put this, so I’m just going to come out with it. We’ve got to stop doing this.”

“Doing what?”

“This.” He gestured to me and then back to himself.

“But I don’t understand,” I said. “What do you mean that we can’t do this anymore?”

All of the sudden, he wouldn’t meet my eye. “We just can’t,” he said. “It’s not really anything that I feel like getting into further.”

“Hold on a second,” I said, certain that I had heard him wrong, or that his face was going to break out in a smile at any second and he was going to tell me that he was just joking, and of course he’d love to go check out that new restaurant with me tonight! I watched him, waiting. His expression remained the same though—mostly impassive, though there was definitely a discomfort in his eyes. “Ian.” I reached out to touch his arm, but he yanked it back.

“This is just how it’s got to be, okay? And it’d make things a whole hell of a lot easier if you didn’t ask any questions about it and just accepted it.”

“Um, no,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t accept it.”

He finally looked t me, his eyes angry now. “Well, you have to.”

“But I don’t. I don’t accept that because it completely contradicts everything that you’ve been saying to me. Is this about Annie? Has she been trying to get in touch with you? Has she been making you feel about the baby? Or trying to make you think that there’s no way that I would want to be with you once the baby’s here? Because that’s not true, Ian, okay? I know I don’t have a ton of experience with babies, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be willing to step up and help you out with it, even if it’s not my own. Don’t let her get into your head like that and make you start doubting things. I know it’s scary and overwhelming, but don’t let her make you think that I’m just going to abandon you. Because I’m not.”

I tried to reach out to him again, but he took a step back, looking like a cornered animal.

“Ian,” I said. “What is the matter?”