Addicted

"It's beautiful, but I don't know what we're celebrating."

"Do I need a reason to do something nice for you?" he asked, smiling.

"This is for me?"

"Everything I do is for you, Abby," he said.

It had been two years of hearing him say things like that to me and they still never failed to fill me up with insane pleasure. He was a songwriter, he knew how to say things to make them sound the sweetest, but that wasn't even where it stopped. I believed him when he said things to me because he was generous with his words, his heart, his body, his money. He gave me everything.

"I love it," I said. "Thank you."

"I love doing things for you; don't mention it. I should be the one thanking you," he said.

"Me? What for?" I asked.

"For all the delicious food you make me, for coming with me on tour, for being my biggest supporter," he said making a list.

"I do those things because I love you, Nate. You don't have to thank me."

"I wouldn't be able to do anything without you, Abby," he said.

"Oh, come on. What were you doing before we met?"

"Nothing," he said seriously. "Nothing good. I wasn't making music, I was high all the time; I was a junkie."

I sighed. I remembered. The more distance we gained from the time, the more dire it seemed in my remembrance of it. We were both here on the other side of it, in love and stronger than ever, but when we had met, this man that he was today was somewhere obscured behind the pain of a broken dream, marriage, and addiction. It was hard to think sometimes that he was the same person.

His left arm was covered in beautiful, dark tattoos instead of track scars now. He was inspired and healthy, and through it all, he was still the creative, beautiful soul I'd been drawn to when we met.

"All that happened in the past. You aren't that person anymore. You got better and you took your career back."

"I didn't do shit, Abby. You're the one who got me here."

"I just didn't let you ignore me," I said, smiling.

"You treated me like I was someone worth saving," he said. "I wouldn't be alive if you hadn’t driven me crazy the first summer I got here." I smiled, remembering how upset he would get when I'd wake him up in the morning.

"Yes, you would, Nate," I said. "I'm not the one who beat your addiction – you are."

"If you weren't there, I wouldn't have been able to do it. You were it, Abby. You still are. I'm alive because of you, and you deserve every last one of the years I have left on this earth." I felt my eyes well up.

"You don't owe me anything, Nate. Here and now with you is enough." He shook his head.

"I don't want here and now Abby; I want every day." I watched him stand and round the bench. "Abby," he said quietly. He took one of my hands and sunk down on one knee. My heart started pounding as I realized what was happening.

"Every good thing in my life I can trace back to you. I had nothing when we met, and you gave me everything. I didn't know what unconditional love felt like before I met you and when I think of the future, you're the only thing I know I can't live without. I have a life because of you and I don't want to live life without you."

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't, my throat was closed and tears were pouring down my face. I saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a ring.

"Abby Terrell, I love you and I don't want to live a life without you in it. Marry me?"

I nodded because I couldn't speak. He slid the ring on my finger and stood up. I looked at it. It was a beautiful pink stone in a rose-gold band.

"I thought..."

"You thought I'd never ask you?"

"I thought you didn't want to do it again," I said.