Addicted

"In here, baby." She poked her head out from the kitchen and lifted her eyebrow at me. "Why are you late? You're usually done with dinner and sitting at this old kitchen table studying by now."

"Long day at the shop. We had more cars than hands to fix them." I let my backpack drop from my shoulders onto the couch before tugging my jacket off. "I'm going to go with Sam to a party later tonight, but I'll be back home for sure."

She moved back into the kitchen and had her back to me when I walked in. "Fine, but please be careful. I'd rather you take my jeep than drive that bike late at night. It's freezing out there and you know that in next few days, it's only going to get worse."

"I'll be fine, Mom. I'm not taking your jeep. My bike's sturdy and has the right tires to deal with anything that your jeep could deal with. S

hit, it's probably more prepared." I sat down at the table as she gave me a look over her shoulder.

"Watch your mouth. There are a million more words you could choose. I don't need to hear you cursing." She dished me up a bowl of something and moved to sit down in front of me.

"Sorry, Mom." I pulled the stew toward me and breathed in deeply, loving the smell of it as it penetrated my lungs.

I'd been raised by the kind woman across from me, and she was all I knew, but she wasn't my mother. I didn't know my parents, nor did I want to. Sarah was all I needed. We'd spoken about my adoption once when I was twelve and never again. She was all the mother I could hope for, and I tried hard to live up to being the son she deserved.

"Where is this party, anyway? Are you taking that sleazy blonde girl you were seeing from school?" Her nose turned up as she pushed a pan of cornbread toward me. "You want butter?"

I got up and laughed. "I'll get it myself, and no, I'm not seeing Andrea anymore. I'm not sure why you didn't like her. She was so...loving."

The snort from my mother caused me to laugh. Andrea was by far one of the sluttiest girls I'd brought home, but something about her left me wanting to save her. I was most likely the one that needed saving from my grandeur hope for a better future and a love story to tell my grandkids, but nevertheless, I looked for broken souls. It somehow made me feel better. Wanted. Needed.

"Yeah, loving and extremely touchy-feely. The girl groped you three times the last time you guys were here." She followed me with a stern look on her face as I laughed again.

"Mom. That's the new way to hug nowadays. You should get out more."

"Hug? By cupping someone’s crotch? No, sir." She shook her head. "I'd whoop someone's ass if they tried to hug me."

I'd just lifted a spoonful of soup to my mouth and laughed so hard it sprayed it across the table.

She turned and started to clean it up as her lips lifted in a smile. "I love you. You're a great kid. Did you know that?"

"I'm a man, Mom." I smirked and sat back in my chair. "Now, if you could butter and honey up my cornbread, please. You do it better than I do."

"Brother." She grabbed the plate and started to fix my bread like she always had. A cough left her as she turned and lifted her hands to her face.

"That doesn't sound good." Concern ran through me, and I watched her closely for signs of anything other than the nasty cough as she walked to the sink and washed her hands.

"It's okay. Just a cold. You know I don't do so well during the winter months. It just gets so cold here." She turned to look at me as she dried her hands. "When does school start back up?"

"Tomorrow." I shook my head and worked on the stew in my bowl. "I'm actually looking forward to it, though. I think having to work so damn hard to pay for it makes me honestly respect the fact that I need to do well."

Her expression saddened. "I wish I could help. There is a possibility for me to pick up more shifts at the hospital."

"No." I gave her a silly expression. "I'm good. The shop is bringing in enough to help pay for my books and keep me and you fed. You just worry about the mortgage and the lights. One day, I'll be able to take care of all of it for us."

"One day, you'll be married with a family of your own, Tate." She moved around the table and gripped my shoulders softly before leaning over and pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "You need to focus on you and not me."

"Right. Try again." I stifled the need to make a million more promises I wasn't sure I could come through on. I wanted to give her the world, and not just because she'd opened her home and her heart to me, but because she was a good woman and deserved it. Her last boyfriend had been an asshole and a half, and the day I got to kick him out was one of the best days of my life.

She had no clue what respect looked like between a man and a woman, and I was struggling to find the boundary lines myself. I couldn't remember her ever being in a healthy relationship.

My best friend Sam's parents were in a good, solid relationship. I'd learned most of what I needed to know about being a good man from Sam's dad. Sam and I had been inseparable since grade school, and it had been him who forced me to look into scholarships and grants to attend University of Minnesota. It was a great school and I loved the idea of growing smarter and furthering myself, but it was certainly taking a toll on my income.

Funny enough, Sam was also the one that regretted getting me started in college. My ability to diagnose and fix cars was almost uncanny, and the guys at the shop were giving me hell for passing up Jerry's opportunity to have more hours at the shop. Sam was on my ass to rethink everything, too, but I was eighteen months away from graduating. There was no way I was throwing in the towel. I'd invested far too much. I could keep pushing forward for another year and a half, then I would find a way to cut back and re-balance everything.

Weariness rolled over me as I thought through all that I had coming up the next week with classes starting back up. Jerry needed me at the shop six days a week for the next few months. The winter season was always the busiest for us, and I was loyal to a fault, if nothing else.

A knock pulled me from my thoughts. My mother was already headed toward the door by the time I stood up.