Addicted
The thing was, I wasn't even mad about it. Part of the performance had been for Joseph's sake, to make him believe that I was going above and beyond as a proud member of the Four Seasons staff to accommodate a special guest. The other part had been for Nate, but mostly for me. I wanted to spend more time with him.
If I put the sex aside and just focused on Nate as a person, I liked him a lot. Last night had scared me and his words had hurt, but I couldn't get over how it felt to watch him fight and win against something that loomed so large in his life.
He had fought, and he hadn’t given up, no matter how hard it had gotten. I could only imagine how hard it had been for him. He could have chosen the easy way out, staying sick, but he hadn’t and that was extremely commendable. That right there told me about the kind of person that he was and the strength that he had even when he was suffering. Guess there was something to my fangirl crush, after all.
"Are you about to tell me something about being careful and not letting him get to me because this can't be permanent?" I asked her.
"Looks like I don't have to because you've already thought about it," Makani smirked. "I was about to say you owe me for all the hours you've made me man this desk alone." I smiled.
"Can I repay you in gratitude and goodwill?" I tried.
"How much of my rent can I pay with that?" she joked.
"How about a full play-by-play of what happens today?"
"That's more like it. Go have fun," she said. "Your choice of partner could have been better, but you deserve to relax a little."
"Thanks, Makani," I said. I started for the back to get changed.
"Oh, Abby," she called.
"Yeah?"
"He is a guest, and he is going to leave. Just don't let yourself think that that day isn't going to come," she cautioned.
I nodded and went to the changing room. I wasn't going to forget. I knew that. I wouldn't have gotten myself into being his tour guide today if I had forgotten. This was...
It was a lot of things. I cared about
Nate, and I wanted to help him with his addiction; and that meant the less time he had alone to think about using, the better. I was sure he didn't have sex with all his tour guides, but I didn't have sex with all the guests. We had something, a connection or whatever, but it didn't have to make things complicated.
Maybe we'd talk about it today. No, we definitely had to talk about it.
I got into a pair of shorts and halter top before making my way up to Nate's suite. I knocked on the door. We had just been on the phone, and he sounded like he was okay, not like last night. Still, I was nervous which Nate was about to come to the door. He pulled it open. He wasn't dressed. He was still in the same thing he had been wearing when I had left him: a towel. He ran a hand through his wet hair.
"Abby."
"Are you ready, Mr. Stone?" I asked, looking pointedly at the towel. Clearly, he wasn't. He opened the door wider letting me walk in.
"Thanks for telling your boss you wanted to take me out today," he said. "Listen. About last night… I was a mess."
"Mm-hmm, I was there. I remember," I said smiling. I wasn't mad, but he looked apologetic.
"I'm really sorry about what I said to you. I can't even say I was loaded or anything. I was an asshole last night."
"Don't apologize."
"I mean it, Abby. I-"
"Really, Nate. If I were mad, I wouldn't have asked to see you again today. Just forget about it. If you're really sorry, what you need to work on for me is getting up closer to sunrise than sunset," I said walking into the bedroom. "Have you eaten already?"
"I want to make it up to you," he said. I walked to the couch finding the clothes I had left there for him before I had left that morning. Same as the day before: dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt. We really needed to do something about that. He looked crazy walking around in seventy-degree weather dressed like the Grim Reaper.
"Then hurry up and get dressed. We're losing daylight," I said, giving him the clothes. He took the clothes, coming closer to me.
"Thank you," he said. He kissed me lightly before walking over to the bed and starting to get dressed.
I left the room that time. We were probably past that kind of modesty but I liked to think that I was at least trying to be professional. He was done quickly and we were on the road again, right after grabbing a swimsuit for him from the gift shop. The place we were going today didn't have swimmable waters, but I couldn't take him to another beach dressed in his mourning gear.