Falling Fast
“Good.” He smiles, opening his eyes to look at me once more. Yes, I’m totally head-over-heels in love. “Let me take care of this condom and I’ll be back.”
I nod, wondering how I hadn’t noticed him put one on. “I need to go put the rolls in the oven and check on dinner,” I tell him, and his body stills over mine. “Colton?”
“Give me a second, baby,” he says, studying me, and nervousness fills my stomach.
“What?”
“How the fuck did I get so goddamn lucky?” he asks softly, and that nervousness goes away and a new, much better feeling fills my stomach.
“Waking up to you, going to sleep with you, is all I need, but you keep making that shit better everyday in new ways.”
“I—”
“Never thought I’d be happy again. You proved me wrong.” Tears fill my eyes and I close them to try and fight them back. It’s useless; they overflow, but he catches each one with a soft kiss that makes me cry harder. “I hope I can make you as happy as you make me,” he finishes.
I sob, lifting up to bury my face in his neck. His arms wrap around me and he rolls us so we’re front to front. Once I’ve gotten control of my tears, I whisper, “You… you make me happy. Being with you makes me happy.”
“I’m glad, baby.” He kisses me then tucks my head under his chin, holding me tightly to him for a few minutes before leaning back to capture my cheek in his hand and search my face. “You okay?”
“I’m okay,” I whisper, running my fingers along the edge of his jaw, and he smiles a small smile then touches his mouth to mine.
Pulling in a breath, I push gently at his chest. “We should get up.”
“Right,” he agrees, but he doesn’t move, and I can tell by the look in his eyes that he wants to say something. He doesn’t voice whatever it is that’s on his mind. Instead, he shakes his head then pulls me up with him and takes me to the bathroom.
Setting me on the edge of the sink, he cleans me up then kisses me sweetly before taking care of the condom. After pulling me off the vanity, he leads me back into the bedroom. Letting my hand go, he grabs a pair of sweats and puts them on then takes my hand again and pulls me downstairs to the kitchen. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I love him, but I don’t. I should, but I don’t want to take away from what’s building between us. So instead, I finish up dinner and we eat it sitting side-by-side at the island. I also might have given Loki a full serving of roast.
~**~
Standing in the doorway of my grandma’s room the next evening, sadness fills my chest as I watch her hospice nurses, Elizabeth and Stan, attempt to hold her down while she does everything she can to fight them off.
“She was trying to kill me!” Grandma screeches at the top of her lungs, trying to raise her hand to point at me.
Wrapping my arms around my middle to hold myself together, I fight back a fresh wave of tears then swallow hard over the heavy lump in my throat. When I make eye contact with Stan, I see regret fill his eyes when they’re finally able to safely dose her with the sedative that will have her asleep before too long.
“That’s right. Just relax, darlin’,” Elisabeth says close to Grandma’s ear once her muscles start to relax and her body gives up the fight. Tucking the covers around Grandma’s now still body, she lifts the bedrail and attaches the alarm that will go off if she tries to get out of bed. “Gia,” she calls, and I pull my eyes off my grandma to look at her, lifting my chin ever so slightly in acknowledgment. “I know you were planning on staying here for dinner, but I don’t think that would be safe. She’s been in a bad way today, and I don’t want to risk her accidently hurting you if she wakes up.” She comes toward me, and I look past her at the bed to see Grandma’s eyes are open and staring blankly at the ceiling.
“I don’t even know what set her off,” I whisper, looking at Elizabeth, and her face softens while her eyes fill with regret.
“That’s the way of her illness, honey,” she explains, and I tighten the hold I have on myself so I don’t fall apart.
“She’s never done that before,” I quietly point out. “One minute, she was sitting up in her chair and we were working on her puzzle, and the next, she was knocking me to the floor, trying to strangle me while screaming she wouldn’t let me kill her,” I choke out, and her hand wraps around mine.