Valentine's Sugar Rush (Ashton Sweets 2)

He didn’t understand that it had nothing to do with Matthew and everything to do with me.

My entire adult life, I’d been Matthew’s mom. That was how I identified myself. It was how I fit into the world when it came to relationships. When I met someone new, it was usually because they were Matthew’s friends, or Matthew’s teachers, or maybe Matthew’s soccer coach.

Now, though, he was going to be starting a family of his own, and he didn’t really need me anymore.

Nobody did.

Now, I wasn’t going to be “Matthew’s mom.”

Who was I going to be?

“When he moved out, I never really had empty nest syndrome,” I told Bob carefully, slowly. “It wasn’t really that big of a deal to me to say goodbye to that part of our life.”

“It was exciting,” Bob agreed.

“Now, though, it’s like he’s really cutting the apron strings.”

“Princess,” Bob said, cupping my cheek. “We cut those long ago. Matthew has been wildly independent since he was a kid. This is just the next step.”

“And I’m happy for him,” I told Bob. “But I worry sometimes about myself.”

“I’m not worried about you,” Bob told me.

That was good. It probably shouldn’t have calmed me down, but it did. Still, there

was something else. There was something else that was digging at my soul, threatening to sting me or hurt me, and I wasn’t sure how to put my feelings into words.

“I’m glad,” I finally said. Then I got out of bed and I headed to the bathroom to take my shower. I closed the door to the bathroom and turned the water on. Then I stood in front of the mirror and just looked at myself.

I looked old, and I looked tired, and I looked like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Well, crap.

So much for being the mother of the groom and looking my best.

Today was going to be rough.

2

Bob

Valentine’s Day was always a holiday I found rather ordinary, but that Helena loved. Each year, I’d do something special for her. Sometimes I’d buy chocolate and once in awhile I’d get her a big stuffed bear. No matter what the gifts we exchanged were, though, the most important thing was that we got to spend time together.

Our anniversary was on Valentine’s Day, as well. At the time, we’d both found the idea to be quite romantic. When you’re young, grand gestures are important. It’s one of the ways you prove to your beloved that you’re good enough for them. It’s how you show them that they’re important to you.

When Matthew and Dora chose the same day for their wedding, it had been a cute way to show they cared not only about each other, but about Helena and me. They’d chosen to commemorate our own marriage by starting theirs on the same way we had, only many years later.

This year, though, something was different about this special holiday.

Well, everything was different.

The biggest problem with this year was that Helena had thrown herself into wedding planning with Matthew and Dora. She’d allowed herself to get sucked into their excitement, which was important, but I could tell that she was wildly worried about what would come next.

What happened when the wedding was over?

What happened when our son wanted to spend time with his new bride?

There was this rumor, this cliché idea, that when a woman’s kids got married and moved out to start their own lives, that she would feel forgotten, somehow, and I was so afraid that Helena would feel that way. I knew I’d been clinging to her lately, but that was because I wanted her to know I was there for her. I wanted her to feel my support.