Rock Star Returns: Carlie's Story (Access All Areas 2)

"And I nearly swooned that you considered it a date."

I punched him lightly on the arm. "You did not."

"Did so. You were pretty fucking intimidating back then. Even more than you are now. There were all these girls in our year who were little clones, just wanting to fit in, and then there was you, being you, and not giving a fuck. Giving the finger to anyone who dared to say anything."

"Not just the finger. I beat Jennifer McGowan up in the toilets because she called me a freak witch."

"Whoa, harsh words."

I laughed. It seemed so stupid now. All those high school fights.

"To be honest, I thought it was a bit bad of you to injure that poor tree for no reason."

Holden stared up at the length of the tree. "Looks like it survived," he said. “Probably better than Jennifer McGowan did.”

Better than we did, I thought but I didn't say it out loud. It wasn't the time for saying things like that.

We kept on walking, the heat increasing as we headed down into the valley, away from the breeze. I'd forgot

ten how hot it got there, like a sauna. Everything seemed amplified, the earthy smells and the rustling of the trees.

"We must be nearly there," I said. I couldn't wait to see that cold water. There were no trees to provide shade where we walked, and the sun beamed right on my head, melting my brain.

"Just around the bend, if I remember right. If you listen carefully, you can hear the water."

I broke into a run. Holden took off after me.

There it was, our swimming spot. The water was still brown and murky, and fallen leaves floated on the surface, but it looked so refreshing after that walk.

I stripped off my t-shirt and tights. I'd jump in with just my bra and knickers.

"Chicken," called Holden. "You'd have stripped right off once."

He'd peeled off his t-shirt and had started to unbutton his jeans. That was a sight I couldn’t ignore.

Screw it. There was no one else around and Holden had seen it all before. I stripped off to nothing and jumped in.

The cold of the water knocked all of my senses out of me for a second, but then they came rushing back, making me totally aware of just how cold it was. I screamed.

Holden jumped in next to me. For a moment, we were 16 again. My biggest concern was how to get home without explaining why I had wet hair. And making sure my parents never found out I was with Holden King.

We used to lay on the rocks after swimming to dry off, shyly touching each other but too scared to take things further. Not here, where anyone could catch us.

I swam across the river, enjoying the sensation of the cold water flowing over my skin, then swam back, struggling as the tiredness hit my legs.

“I can’t swim like I used to.” I stretched out my arms.

"Those were good times," Holden said. “Even with all the shit, they were good.”

I laughed and splashed him. He splashed me back, so I jumped on him, trying to push him under the water. As my skin touched his, all the feelings I wanted to hide rushed back. I pulled away.

I should not be doing this. I couldn't be there, with him, frolicking naked. All this fun and happiness was not good. I couldn’t be just friends with him, no matter how much he needed me. It would always end in sex. The desire I felt for him was too strong to deny.

I climbed out of the water and threw my clothes back on.

"What's up?" Holden asked.

I hunted around for my other shoe. I'd thrown them off in my rush to get in the water. I found it under a rock. Then I struggled to get my running bra back on. It was a crop top style, and the fabric stuck to my wet skin, twisting up. I didn't want to look around to see Holden watching me. I wanted that fucking bra to go on, so I could get out of there. In the end, I pulled it off and threw it away. Stupid fucking bra. Who needed it anyway?