Savage Ending (Savage Trilogy 4)

While I wait for someone to track down info on my “brother” Adam, Candace gives a shake of her head, silently telling me that Lucifer isn’t answering. Bastard. Meanwhile, on my end, a woman comes back on the line for me. “I’m still trying to get you to the right place. Hold just a little bit longer.” She doesn’t wait for my agreement. She puts me back on hold. Another five minutes and I’m forced to leave my number.

Candace is now sitting on the edge of the couch. She’s pale, a troubled expression on her face. I slide my phone into my pocket. “You okay, baby?”

“Is he—is Adam dead?”

“No,” I say, closing the space between us and going down on one knee in front of her. “No, he’s not dead. I only sent him for a scan to be safe. If we were out in the field on a mission, we wouldn’t have the luxury.”

“I’m still scared for him.”

“I know,” I say, and my hands come down on her knees. My voice lowers, rasps with guilt, and the magnitude of all that’s just happened. “Baby, I’m sorry this happened. I’m so damn sorry.”

“There you go again,” she accuses. “Blaming yourself. Stop blaming yourself. Please, I beg of you.”

“I’m the one who decided to help Max. Me. I did it.”

“You already told me you aren’t sure you could have walked away. There’s more to this than either of us know yet.”

“It’s all about my life, my choices, my past. I did this.” I stand up on an explosion of anger, and guilt, tormented now as I add, “This is why I stayed away. This is why I knew I couldn’t marry you.”

She is instantly on her feet. “Really, Rick?” she demands. “That’s where you’re going? You shouldn’t be here? You shouldn’t have married me? Thirty seconds after we got married?” She presses her good arm under her bad arm, in front of her body, and tears explode from her eyes. She’s sobbing, but she’s angry, shouting at me, “These tears do not make me weak. These are tears of acceptance. You will always hurt me. You aren’t capable of just loving me, so don’t worry. We’ll annul the marriage and you can just leave me alone for good this time. I’m done. I’m so done.”

That proclamation is a blade through my heart a hundred times. I step into her, hands on her shoulders. “You are not done. We are not done. I don’t want an annulment.”

“I heard what you said, Rick. You shouldn’t have married me.”

“I said this is why I didn’t in the past. But I know what happened when I left you. They still came for you. I’m just trying to figure out how to protect you.”

“By being with me.”

“I’m not suggesting anything else.”

“Aren’t you?” she challenges. “I can’t do this back and forth. I can’t. I love you too much. You have too much ability to hurt me. And I let that happen all over again.”

There’s a knock on the door, which could mean any number of things good or bad, but right now, I’m not quite ready to let go of Candace.

“I know I hurt you in the past, Candace. That’s not where this is going.”

“You said—”

“Look beneath the words and you will see that there is one theme. I can’t lose you, Candace. I thought I lost you today and it killed me. I love you so fucking much.” The knock sounds again.

“I love you, too, but you are just gutting me, Rick. And just—damn it, you have to get the door.”

I force myself to step back and I pull my weapon. “This conversation isn’t over and neither are we.”

I head for the door.

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Savage

I pause at the door and call out, “Who is it?”

“Adam, you fucker.”

“What the hell?” I murmur, yanking open the door to find him leaning on the doorjamb, looking pale as a bloodsucker.

“Yeah. What the hell?” he demands.

“Holy fuck, man.” I shove my gun in my pants, back up, and let him enter. “How are you here? Did you get scanned?”

“Apparently,” he says dryly, walking past me.

I scowl at his back. “What does apparently mean?” I call after him, shutting the door and locking it before following him into the living room.

At which point, Candace runs to him and hugs him with her one good arm. “Oh God,” she exclaims. “Thank God. You’re okay.”

He pats her back with his one good hand. “Now, now, you’re going to make your husband jealous and I need to slink my Jell-O legs to the couch.”

The use of the word “husband” punches me in the gut. I am her husband. I don’t intend for that to change, but I just fucked up with Candace. Over and over, I keep fucking up with Candace.

Adam extracts himself from her hold and manages to round the coffee table before he pretty much thuds to the couch. I step to the opposite side of the coffee table. “What does apparently mean, Adam?” I press.