The Palace (Chateau 4)

I shook my head slightly because I didn’t believe that. Magnus didn’t either, obviously. “Could you give us a moment?”

Magnus immediately rose to his feet to excuse himself.

Raven grabbed his wrist and tugged him back down. “I’m just going to tell him everything we say, so there’s no point.”

Magnus cooperated with the motions, taking his seat beside her once again, his arms on his knees, his eyes on the paintings on the wall. He had the same characteristics as his brother, the same physical mannerisms, but he wasn’t quite so cold.

Raven stared at me for a while. “Magnus told me that you agreed to marry Fender in exchange for my freedom.” Her eyes shifted back and forth as they regarded mine, the respect on the surface. “I really appreciate that. I do.”

I dropped my gaze and stared at my hands in my lap. “I tried to get him to free the girls…but he wouldn’t. At least he gave me you.”

Raven gave a slight nod. “I’m glad that you tried. But I suspect his mind is so corroded and he doesn’t understand how terrible he really is. He’s lost all humanity…”

My initial instinct was to defend him, but I kept my mouth shut. I lifted my chin and looked at her, wishing I could describe who he really was. I wished I could convey the way he comforted Gilbert in his final moments. I wished I could share the way he made me feel, that I was better than the poor reputation I gave myself. I wished I could share the way he spoke of his family, the way he missed them even now. But I could never explain that in a way she would understand.

Her eyes glanced down at the large ring that was impossible to miss. “But you don’t have to marry him.”

It was so quiet that I could hear a hawk glide across the sky outside the window. My eyes narrowed on her face, failing to understand the words she spoke so clearly.

“Because I don’t want to be free.”

I should have known that my sister had a trick up her sleeve. “Raven, if you think you can destroy that camp from the inside, you’re delusional. We tried to get rid of it and free all the prisoners, but that didn’t work whatsoever. You need to let this go.”

Raven shook her head. “That’s not why. The only way that place is going to end is if Fender ends it…or he, himself, is ended.”

I hoped that never happened—because I couldn’t live without him. “Then I don’t understand…”

Raven took a long time to answer, like she knew how crazy she sounded before she even said anything. “I can’t live apart from him.” Her voice came out as a whisper, like she didn’t want Magnus to hear even though he was directly behind her, still staring at the painting on the wall.

I stared for a long time, realization slowly sinking in.

“Where he goes, that’s where I go.”

I was in utter disbelief. As much as I hated being apart from Fender, I had no desire to go back to that place. “But it’s so terrible there.”

With a sad look in her eyes, she nodded. “I know.”

“And if you’re in Paris, we can see each other all the time…”

“I know that too. But when Magnus goes to the camp, he’s gone for a full month, and I just can’t live with that kind of separation. All I’ll be doing is waiting for him to come home.”

I wanted to argue to get my way, but I didn’t see an unselfish angle to take. If she were in Paris, we could get lunch, go sight-seeing, spend time together to make up for all the time we’d lost. If she went back to the camp, our time together would be very limited.

“So, you don’t have to marry him. I’m not choosing to go to the camp to protect you. I’m going because I want to be there…with Magnus.”

Magnus reached for the glass on the table and took a long drink, his expression harder than it was before. He never showed affection toward my sister, but he exuded it in his own way.

I didn’t know what to say, because my sister basically told me this was the man she would marry. They stayed together—no matter what. She gave herself to him entirely…and I did the same to Fender.

Raven gave me a slight smile, like she was fulfilling her role as the protective big sister, saving me from a terrible fate. “You’re off the hook.”

How was I supposed to say this to her? How was I supposed to look her in the eye and confess the way I really felt? She made it very clear she would never understand, that she would never accept it. It would drill a permanent hole between us. Her low opinion of me would sink even lower. But as my fingers fidgeted with the ring on my left hand, I told the truth. “I’m going to marry him anyway.”