A Kiss for a Kiss (All In 4)

Alex, Ryan, and I watch as JJ skids to a stop in front of Queenie and Hanna. “You want me to tell the boys to switch out the plastic pucks?” Ryan asks.

I shake my head. “Nah, they know the drill.”

And they do. Because we spend a lot of time together. It’s the best kind of built-in family.

And even better is the fact JJ gets to grow up with his nephew Scout. Is the dynamic a bit strange? Definitely. But it’s only brought me closer to my daughter and my son-in-law, and nothing in the world beats that kind of love. JJ keeps me young in ways I didn’t expect, and I feel like the second time around I’m better prepared to handle raising a child. It helps that I have a partner who loves our son with the same intensity I do.

Hanna beckons JJ closer and takes his chin between her finger and thumb. Then she reaches into her purse and pulls out a wipe, clearing away whatever that orange business is on our son’s face. When she’s done, she plants a kiss on his puckered lips, then showers him with kisses and he giggles, burying his face in her side.

Eventually, he must ask about hockey, because both Queenie and Hanna look over where the older boys are shooting the puck around.

Queenie nods and JJ takes Scout’s pudgy hand in his, leading him to the edge of the rubberized hockey rink.

Kody and Maverick stop passing the puck as soon as they approach and they set up the “little kid” net, showing them how to shoot and aim. Maverick works hard at the sport, and Kody is the kind of natural that takes your breath away.

He’s almost flawless.

I can’t wait to watch him grow into his talent, and I’m almost sad that I’ll be retired by the time he’s ready to start his professional career. JJ could go either way. He’s equally as athletic as he is artistic. I’m excited to see him grow into his own person.

I turn my attention back to Hanna. She and Queenie have a unique relationship. They’re like sisters, but at the same time, she’s very much become someone Queenie goes to when she needs a mother figure.

JJ may have been an accident, but without him, I don’t think I’d have realized what my life had been missing. A partner. A confidant. Someone to parent with, not around.

The last four years have been amazing. Exhausting, but amazing.

Having a child in your forties is no joke. The sleepless nights, the juggling work and family, and everything that life throws at you aren’t always easy, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

After JJ was born, Hanna and I had a long discussion about what she wanted. I knew what I wanted as far as our relationship went. I’d known for months. I’d gone out and bought the engagement ring two weeks after JJ was born. I didn’t want to push too fast, worried I’d repeat the same mistakes as I had last time. But Hanna is a different woman. She’s invested in our son and us, as a couple and a family.

Still, I don’t ever want her to feel boxed in, so I let her set the speed. Two months after JJ was born, Hanna gave notice and broke her lease, aware she wasn’t ever going to stay there and the only time it ever got used was when we went on one of our grocery shopping trips. Which we made a habit of visiting every week until the lease ran out. After that, she figured we could drop JJ off at King and Queenie’s if we really needed to swing from the rafters. Which we’ve done a couple of times.

At the five-month mark, we had another discussion, this time about her return-to-work plan. It coincided with JJ learning how to roll over and his first teeth. The waking up in the middle of the night because his gums hurt was taking its toll on both of us. We knew it was temporary, though. So we powered through it. But we also knew there were more milestones coming, and we still had a handful of years before JJ was school age.

I want her to have the full motherhood experience, whatever that looks like for her. I don’t want her to have any regrets. And she is a phenomenal mother. Dedicated, patient, loving, and so, so gentle.

Six months after JJ was born, Hanna made the call to shift from her modified remote schedule with her accounting firm to working with Violet on a contract basis. It was the perfect solution and gave her the freedom she needed and the independence she loves. And the opportunity to work with one of my closest friends’ wife was definitely a plus. She needs her own friend group and colleagues to talk shop with, and I’ll support her in whatever way she needs me to.