Club Endless Fantasy

I worked so hard that when people started to leave for the day, I realized that in addition to finishing the Dillinger’s Department Store ad-copy and the rest of my work, I had already plowed my way through the stuff I had on my calendar for Monday.

I’ll recheck the Dillinger’s ad-copy, and then look it over again tomorrow just to be safe. If he really isn’t going to look at it until Monday, then I’ll use the extra time to make sure it is absolutely perfect.

I decided that I had gotten enough work done to swap the coffee in my plan to wine and sleep in my own bed. There was definitely a bubble bath in my future, and I hoped I wouldn’t have any surprises in the lobby of my apartment building because date night would alleviate some of the stress that had been building all day. I shut down my computer and pulled my phone out of my purse as I walked to the elevator. I had a message from Ian—a message that had been sitting there unanswered since lunch.

Ian: Do you want to hear a joke?

I shook my head and laughed to myself after reading his message. I really could have used a joke earlier in the day when my stress was at its highest. The elevator closed, and I started typing my reply.

Elly: I’m sorry for the late response. I was at work. Still got a joke for me?

Ian: Absolutely!

Elly: How about one that has nothing to do with the holidays.

Ian: Okay. What’s the easiest way to get straight A’s.

Elly: Is this a dirty joke? I know one way that doesn’t involve studying… :)

Ian: Ha! No, the easiest way to get straight A’s is to use a ruler!

Elly: Totally not the direction I was going with it.

Ian: I know. :)

Elly: I’m on my way home. If you’re not busy, I might want to hear another joke later…

Ian: Only if you tell me one first.

Elly: Deal.

I wasn’t entirely sure why I kept messaging Ian. Common sense told me to delete the app and move on with my life—the only reason we got matched was because of a system glitch. There was just something about his humor that made me hesitate every time I considered pressing the button that would erase the app from my phone.

Ian’s one-liners were corny, and his dad-jokes were absurd, but I still liked them. The fact he didn’t immediately end the conversation when I told him a few dirty jokes showed me that he wasn’t completely lost his in G-rated world. I just wasn’t sure if our banter was leading to more—or if I even wanted it to go further than the text messages we were exchanging.

Am I even relationship material if the right guy does happen to come along?

I braved the Christmas traffic, paid my Salvation Army tax at the market, and left with enough groceries for the weekend—along with two bottles of wine. I still planned to go into the office, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the time I was going to spend alone in my apartment. Deliveries always took forever on Friday and Saturday night, so it was easier to just make something than stare at my Door Dash app until the driver arrived. It was also a lot less expensive. I changed into my pajamas as soon as I got to my apartment, made my favorite version of pasta-for-one, and sat down on the couch with my phone in my hand.

I’m kind of excited to message Ian again…

Elly: I’m ready for that joke now.

Ian: You’re supposed to tell me one first.

Elly: It won’t be clean…

Ian: I didn’t think it would be. It doesn’t even have to be a Christmas joke.

Elly: Okay, what does it mean if a guy remembers your eye color after your first date?

Ian: He thinks they’re pretty?

Elly: No, it means you have small tits.

Ian: That may be one of the tamer jokes you’ve told me. :)

Elly: I didn’t want to scare you away before you told me one.