Heat & Desire (Surrender to Them 4)

“Thank you, sir.” I stood and shook his hand.

“Follow me.” He motioned with his hand. “I’m going to introduce you to Brody Shaw. You’ll be riding on his truck when we go out, and maybe one day you’ll get to ride in the passenger seat.”

I thought about my future a lot after looking at the remnants of myself in the mirror. I never allowed myself to heal after Lorrie broke my heart. I didn’t feel like I had the strength to pull myself back from the brink entirely, but I hoped I would find solace by channeling that hurt in other ways. Helping people had always been my passion—before I lost touch with the man I thought I would become. I knew there wasn’t much action in Canyon City, but they needed a new firefighter to replace one that was retiring. The town had toyed with the idea of swapping over to a volunteer fire department in order to save money, but the mayor rejected the proposal. Most of the real action happened on the stretch of interstate that ran by Canyon City, which was notorious for accidents because three lanes turned into two with very little warning. The mayor wanted to make sure the town could respond properly in the event of an real emergency.

“Brody, this is Micah Adams. He’s our newest recruit.” Chief Henderson walked up to a man who was busy putting on his shoes.

“Nice to meet you.” Brody raised his head and extended his hand.

“Likewise.” I nodded as I shook his hand.

I didn’t expect to find a kindred spirit when I joined the fire department, but Brody carried a lot of the same hurt I did. His was different than mine, but the foundation was similar. He got married young after his girlfriend got pregnant, and he was still wearing fresh scars from his divorce. Most of the other guys at the fire department were married, or didn’t have much interest in doing anything but going home after their shift. Brody’s daughter stayed with his ex-wife every other weekend and they alternated holidays and breaks from school. Brody and I ended up going out a lot when his daughter wasn’t home. My party days definitely weren’t over, and while Brody never drank to excess, he still liked to have a good time.

I didn’t realize how good of a time we could actually have until we ended up at my apartment one weekend and the woman I brought back with me asked if he was going to join in on the action. I fought a constant battle when I brought girls home. I kept my heart locked away and focused only the physical pleasure, but that was hard sometimes. I quickly learned that sharing a woman with Brody made it really easy to avoid an emotional attachment. There was no pillow talk and no awkward moments when I questioned if the woman in my bed was someone I could see myself with. It was just filthy sex that lasted through the night. That turned out to be the cure to everything that was eating me up inside—or so I thought.

Present day

“Want a bear claw?” I walked into the main part of the fire department and dropped a box in front of Brody.

“You don’t I don’t eat that shit—wait, are those from Marigold Bakery?” He looked at the box and lifted his head with a concerned expression on his face.

“Yep, I stopped by on my way to work.” I grinned and sat down across from him.

“You asked her out, didn’t you?” He shook his head in disbelief.

“Yeah.” I shrugged and opened the box. “She turned me down.”

“Thank god.” He exhaled sharply.

“Wow, way to shit on my love life, Brody.” I glared at him as I picked up a bear claw.

“Your love life?” He raised his eyebrows and smirked. “All you want to do is take her back to your place and never call her again.”

“I don’t know, man.” I bit down into the pastry and chewed. “This may be different.”

“What happened? Did you wake up and decide that you suddenly wanted to stop being a manwhore?” Brody chuckled and closed the box—probably to avoid temptation.

“It’s been months since I took anyone home.” I put down my bear claw and sighed.

“Probably because you ran out of women in Canyon City that would fall for your shit.” He leaned back in his chair and a slight smile formed on the corner of his lips.

“No, that isn’t it. The well ain’t dry, trust me. I think I’m just looking for something else now.” I leaned back in my chair and stared aimlessly as I spoke. “When I saw Wendy today—I just knew that she could be the perfect woman for me. I have

n’t felt that in a really long time.”

“Fine, if you’re serious about it, I’ll put in a good word. I’m going to warn you again, though—if you hurt her…” Brody’s eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened.

“I know. You’ll kick my ass.” I reached down and picked up my donut to take another bite.

“She deserves better than you, that’s for damn sure, but she’s lonely as well. Maybe she’ll be a good influence on you.” Brody shrugged and suddenly opened the box. “Fuck it, I already had pizza this week. I might as well top it off with a bear claw.”

“We might have to put an extra hour in the gym every day this week if she keeps telling me no.” I chuckled and finished the last bite of my pastry.

“You’re planning to just stop in every day and ask her? That’s… pretty much stalking.” Brody bit down on his bear claw. “Fuck, that’s tasty. I forgot how much I missed sugar.”

“Maybe after you put in a good word for me, she’ll give me a chance.” I stared at my napkin, almost wishing that Brody had left the second one for me. “Hopefully before I get addicted to these damn things.”

There was something exciting about the chase. Wendy didn’t just immediately start batting her eyelashes the second I showed interest, unlike most of the girls I picked up at the bar. She was beautiful and her curves were enough to drive me crazy, but I wanted it to be about more than that. I wanted to take her on a date, get to know her, and find out if she was someone I could build a relationship with. I needed to push the rest of the darkness out of my soul, and a woman like Wendy might do just that. I just hoped she would give me a chance. I was tired of dancing with the devil and spending the night with women I never saw again. It lost substance long before I finally stopped going out on the weekends to find someone to keep my bed warm, and I was officially done with that. I needed something real.