Hot Six (Stephanie Plum 6)

“I'm outta here,” Joyce said. “If you think of anything else call me on my car phone. Connie's got the number.”

There was silence in the office until we saw Joyce's jeep pull away and roll down the street.

“She comes in here and I swear I can smell sulfur,” Connie said. “It's like having the Antichrist sitting on the couch.”

Lula cut her eyes at me. “Ranger really got a sister in Staten Island?”

“Anything's possible.” But not probable. In fact, now that I thought about it, the coat factory might not even be on Macko Street.

Stephanie Plum 6 - Hot Six

4

“UH-OH,” LULA said, glancing over my shoulder. “Don't look now, but here comes your granny.”

My eyebrows shot up to the top of my head. “My granny?”

“Shit,” Vinnie said from deep in his inner office. There was the sound of scuffling. The door to his office slammed shut, and the lock clicked into place.

Grandma walked in and looked around. “Boy, this place is a dump,” she said. “Just what you'd expect from the Plum side of the family.”

“Where's Melvina?” I asked.

“She's next door at the deli, getting some lunch meat. I thought as long as we were in the neighborhood I'd talk to Vinnie about a job.”

We all swiveled our heads to Vinnie's closed door.

“What kind of job were you thinking about?” Connie asked.

“Bounty hunter,” Grandma said. “I want to make the big bucks. I got a gun and everything.”

“Hey Vinnie!” Connie yelled. “You've got a visitor.”

The door opened, and Vinnie stuck his head out and gave Connie the evil eye. Then he looked at Grandma. “Edna,” he said, trying to force a smile, not having much luck at it.

“Vincent,” Grandma said, her smile saccharine.

Vinnie shifted his weight from one foot to the other, wanting to bolt, knowing it was futile. “What can I do for you, Edna? Need to bond someone out?”

“Nothing like that,” Grandma said. “I've been thinking about getting a job, and I thought I might like to be a bounty hunter.”

“Oh, bad idea,” Vinnie said. “Very bad idea.”

Grandma bristled. “You don't think I'm too old, do you?”

“No! Jeez, nothing like that. It's your daughter—she'd pitch a fit. I mean, not to say anything bad about Ellen, but she wouldn't like this idea.”

“Ellen's a wonderful person,” Grandma said, “but she has no imagination. She's like her father, rest his soul.” She pressed her lips together. “He was a pain in the behind.”

“Tell it like it is,” Lula said.

“So what about it?” Grandma said to Vinnie. “Do I get the job?”

“No can do, Edna. Not that I wouldn't want to help you out, but being a bounty hunter takes a lot of special skills.”

“I have skills,” Grandma said. “I can shoot and cuss and I'm real nosy. And besides, I've got some rights. I've got a right to employment.” She gave Vinnie the squinty eye. “I don't see where you got any old people working for you. That don't look like equal opportunity to me. You're discriminating against old people. I've got a mind to get the AARP after you.”

“The AARP is the American Association of Retired People,” Vinnie said. “The 'R' stands for 'Retired.' They don't care about old people working.”