Hot Six (Stephanie Plum 6)

WE TOOK THE Buick because we couldn't all fit in Morelli's truck. Morelli drove, Bob sat next to him, and I sat by the window. Grandma and Myron sat in the back, discussing antacids.

“Any news on the Ramos murder?” I asked Morelli.

“Nothing new. Barnes is still convinced it's Ranger.”

“No other suspects?”

“Enough suspects to fill Shea Stadium. No evidence against any of them.”

“What about the family?”

Morelli cut his eyes at me. “What about them?”

“Are they suspects?”

“Along with everyone else in three countries.”

My mother was standing at the door when we parked. It seemed strange to see her standing alone. For the past couple years Grandma had always stood beside her. The mother and daughter whose roles had reversed-Grandma gladly relinquishing parental responsibility, my mother grimly accepting the task, struggling to find a place for an old woman who'd suddenly become a strange hybrid of tolerant mother and rebellious daughter. My father, in the living room, not wanting any part of it.

“Isn't that something,” Grandma said. “It looks different from this side of the door.”

Bob bolted out of the car and charged my mother, driven by the scent of pork roast wafting from the kitchen.

Myron moved slower. “That's some car you've got,” he said. “It's a real beaut. They don't make cars like that anymore. Everything's a piece of junk today. Plastic crap. Made by a bunch of foreigners.”

My father drifted into the foyer. This was his kind of talk. My father was a second-generation American, and he loved bashing foreigners, relatives excluded. He dropped back a step when he saw Turtle Man was doing the talking.

“This here's Myron,” Grandma said by way of introduction. “He's my date tonight.”

“Nice house you got here,” Myron said. “You can't beat aluminum siding. That's aluminum siding on it, right?”

Bob was running through the house like a crazy dog, high on food smells. He stopped in the foyer and gave my father's butt a good sniffing.

“Get this dog outta here,” my father said. “Where'd this dog come from?”

“This here's Bob,” my grandmother said. “He's just saying hello. I saw a show on the television about dogs and they said sniffing butts was like shaking hands. I know all about dogs now. And we're real lucky that they whacked off Bob's doodles before he got too old and got into the habit of humping your leg. They said it's real hard to break a dog of that habit.”

“I had a rabbit once when I was a kid that was a leg humper,” Myron said. “Boy, once he got a hold of you it was the devil to get him off. And that rabbit didn't care who he went to town on. Got the cat in a stranglehold one time and almost killed it.”

I could feel Morelli shaking with silent laughter behind me.

“I'm starved,” Grandma said. “Let's eat.”

We all took our places at the table, except for Bob, who was eating in the kitchen. My father helped himself to a couple slabs of pork and passed the rest to Morelli. We started the mashed potatoes going around. And the green beans, applesauce, pickle jar, basket of dinner rolls, and pickled beets.

“No pickled beets for me,” Myron said. “They give me the runs. I don't know what it is, you get old and everything gives you the runs.”

Something to look forward to.

“You're lucky you can go,” Grandma said. “You're lucky you don't need Metamucil. Now that the Dealer's out of business, drug prices are gonna go sky high. Other stuff's gonna be outta reach too. I bought my car just in time.”

My mother and father both looked up from their plates.

“You bought a car?” my mother asked. “Nobody told me.”

“It's a pip, too,” Grandma said. “It's a red Corvette.”

My mother made the sign of the cross. “Dear God,” she said.