Plum Lovin' (Stephanie Plum 12.50)

“Well, not movie-star glamorous, but she was okay. In her twenties. Big bazoos. Sort of rat's-nest hair, but when you got bazoos like that it don't matter, right? That's why I remember her. I'm not good with names, but I remember a good rack.”

Charming.

“Anyway it was the same story I hear every day” Cramp said. “She got the necklace from her boyfriend. Her boyfriend turned out to be a jerk. She wants some money for the necklace.”

Cramp tossed his Jack down his throat. Glug, glug, glug. This could explain his embalmed appearance.

“Keep going,” I said. “I want to hear the rest of the story.”

“Sure,” he said. "I never thought much about it, but it's a pretty good story. And it gets even better. I hock the piece for Ms. Big Boobs, and a couple weeks down the road this guy comes in and wants the necklace. He's got the claim ticket. I ask him what happened to the girl with the hooters, and he says I should shut my pie hole and give him the necklace.

“Now here's where it gets good. This is the part that would be good for the movie. Almost all the jewelry in the shop is fake. I got a guy who fences the stuff when it comes in and makes me paste. It's a win-win deal for me, right? I get the money from the fence, and then I either sell the paste to a customer, or the idiot who hocked it in the first place buys it back. Most of the time people can't even tell it's fake. And if they suspect it's fake, they're too embarrassed to do anything about it. Pretty smart, hunh? I thought of it all by myself.”

“Wow,” I said. “Cool.”

“Yeah. So anyway, this guy is standing in front of me with the claim ticket for the necklace, and all of a sudden I recognize him. It's Lou Delvina. He's the jerk boyfriend! I mean, Lou Delvina. Jesus. Do you know who Lou Delvina is?”

“I've heard of him,” I said to Cramp.

Everyone in Trenton knew Lou Delvina. For twenty years, he was a shooter for the north Jersey mob, and then he got his own real estate and moved into the Trenton area. He wasn't big-time, but he made the most of what he had. I'd heard stories about Delvina, and none of the stories was good. Delvina was a very scary guy.

“If you know who Delvina is, you know the problem I've got,” Cramp said. “I sort of stole a necklace from someone who would kill me if he found out. And chances are sort of good he'd find out, since I'm guessing he knows paste when he sees it.”

“Jeez,” I said. “You must have been messing your pants.”

“Big time. But that was when it happened. My luck swung around. Delvina's standing there with his claim ticket, and he gets a phone call. And it's not a good call because his face gets all red and his eyes get beady and squinty. Little rat eyes. And he tells me he has to go, but he'll be back for the necklace, and I should take real good care of it.”

“I would have left town,” I said to Cramp.

“See, that's what most people would think, but I'm smarter than that. A couple women came into the shop to browse. Locals. And then another woman came in all by herself. And I knew she wasn't local because I saw her park. Right in front. So as soon as they all left I faked a robbery. Good, right?”

“Definitely movie stuff. I bet Brad Pitt could play your part.”

“Brad Pitt would be good,” Cramp said. “I could see Brad Pitt doing it.”

“What did you do with the necklace? Did you plant it on the woman?”

“No. I trashed the necklace. There's a crawl space under the back room, and I threw it down there. I threw the gun down there after I shot myself, too.”

&nbsp

; “You shot yourself?”

“Yeah, I got carried away. I wanted to make it look real, but it hurt like a bitch. I didn't think it would hurt so much. Anyway, I guess it was worth it because everyone bought the story. I told everybody the lady walked out with the necklace. The cops went after her, and Delvina went looking for her, too. Delvina really wants that necklace.”

“Does the real necklace still exist?”

“Hell, no. The stones got reset right away. I don't know what my guy does with the setting. Melt it down, maybe.” Cramp looked at the bottle of Jack. Almost empty. “You think we can get to it now?”

“To it?”

“Yeah, you know, the thing we came up here for.”

I felt my cell phone buzz in my bag. I retrieved the phone and answered the call.

“Are you okay?” Diesel asked.

“Yeah.”