Plum Lucky (Stephanie Plum 13.50)

“We can drive back to Trenton and be home by two-?thirty,” I told Diesel.

Diesel had his hand at my back, moving me away from the desk. “Do you have a car?”

“No. We came in Lula’s car, and Connie borrowed it to take the FTA back. Don’t you have a car? How did you get here?”

“You don’t really want to know the answer to that question, do you?”

“Do you think we could rent a car?”

“Not at this hour, but I could borrow a car,” Diesel said.

“You mean steal a car?”

“Stealing implies permanence.”

“Grandma has a suite. We can crash there for the night and find a way to get back to Trenton in the morning.”

We took the elevator to the fourteenth floor, stepped out into the hall, and saw Lula sprawled on the carpet in front of Grandma’s suite. She was changed out of the fancy gold outfit, and she was wide awake, flat on her back with a pillow under her head.

“And?” I said to her.

“And I can’t sleep, is what. I got my big photo shoot first thing in the morning. I need my beauty rest, and I can’t sleep with your grandma snoring. I’ve never heard anything like it. It’s not normal snoring. I tried to get my own room, but there’s no rooms left.”

“Where’s Snuggy?” Diesel asked.

“He’s still in there.”

The door to the suite opened, and Snuggy lurched out. “I can’t take it anymore. I need sleep.”

Lula was on her feet. “Me, too. What are we gonna do?”

“Let’s kill her,” Snuggy said.

“Works for me,” Lula said. “How you want to do it? Smother her with a pillow?”

The elevator dinged, and Briggs hopped out. “What’s everyone doing in the hall? And what’s that disgusting sound? It sounds like King Kong with a sinus infection.”

“It’s Grandma snoring,” I told him. “We haven’t got any place to sleep. The hotel is full, and no one can sleep with Grandma. Where do you sleep?”

“I sleep in the RV. I just came back to make sure everything was okay here.”

Lula’s eyes opened wide. “I bet the RV has lots of room. It probably can sleep lots of people.”

“Five,” Briggs said.

“We’re five,” Lula said. “Imagine that. We’ll just fit in that sucker. Where is it?”

“It’s in a lot next to the garage.”

“I’m there,” Lula said. “Lead the way, and hurry up. I can feel bags growing under my eyes.”

We followed Briggs to the lot and filed one by one after him into the RV.

“We can’t turn too many lights on because no one’s supposed to live here,” Briggs said. “This is just a lot for hotel parking. I have a little battery-?run lamp that I use.”

Briggs switched the light on, and we all squinted into the dimly lit RV. It looked like at one time it had been a big, boxy Winnebago, but that was a while ago. It had been modified by exterior paint and patch and a complete interior retrofit.

“What the heck is this?” Lula said. “Everything’s teeny tiny. Look at this itty-?bitty chair. It looks like dollhouse furniture. How am I supposed to get my ass in this chair?”