Finger Lickin' Fifteen (Stephanie Plum 15)

“I guess that would slow them down,” Morelli said. “Dispatch said this happened in front of your house?”

“Yeah. They were waiting for me. See, here’s what happened. Stephanie and her granny and me were makin’ ribs, only the ribs had to go in the oven, so they didn’t cook right. Personally, I been thinking about it and I bet that oven was faulty.”

Morelli blew out a sigh and went to my refrigerator. “There’s no beer in here,” he said.

“I need to go to the store.”

Morelli closed the door and went back to Lula. “And?”

“And we had three special sauces, but it was hard to tell what was what since the ribs were all the same color when they come out of the oven.”

“Has this got anything to do with Chipotle’s murderers?”

“I’m gettin’ to it,” Lula said.

Morelli looked at his watch. “Could you get to it faster?”

“Boy, you’re Mr. Cranky Pants tonight. What, do you got a date or something?”

I felt a small twinge of pain in the vicinity of my heart, and I narrowed my eyes at Morelli.

Morelli was hands on hips. “I haven’t got a date. I just want to go home and see the end of the game.”

“I guess there isn’t much more to tell,” Lula said. “They were waiting for me. They come at me with the mother of all cleavers. I kicked the guy in his nuts and got back in my car. And they shot at me when I drove away. And now my Firebird’s full of bullet holes.”

“I checked it on my way in,” Morelli said. “I counted two in the right rear quarter panel and one in the back bumper. I don’t suppose you noticed what kind of car these guys were driving?”

“I wasn’t paying attention to that.”

“Any distinguishing features? Anything you can add to your description of them?”

“One of them’s got a broken nose and the other’s walkin’ funny.”

“Did they say anything to you?”

“Nope. The one just was giggling.”

“I’ll send a uniform to check on your house, but it’s unlikely your assailants are still there,” Morelli told Lula.

“Okay, but I’m not going back there. I’m still freaked out. I’m staying here.”

“Good luck with that one,” Morelli said.

I cut my eyes to him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He blew out another sigh. “Forget it.”

I felt my eyes get squinchy and my lips compress. “What?”

“You’re not exactly the easiest person to live with these days.”

“Excuse me? I happen to be very easy to live with. You’re the one who has issues.”

“I don’t want to get into this now,” Morelli said. “Call me when you calm down.”

“I’m calm!” I yelled at him.

He gave his head a shake and moved to the door. He turned, looked at me, and shook his head again. He murmured something I couldn’t catch, and he left.