Explosive Eighteen (Stephanie Plum 18)

Lula fanned herself with her napkin. “Lordy, lordy.”

My mother had her hands over her ears. “I’m not listening.”

“I’m listening,” Grandma said. “This is getting good.”

Grandma had no idea how good. And I wasn’t going into details, but Ranger arranged for a beachfront cottage with total privacy for enjoying the spa au naturel and a king-sized bed for après spa.

“So the whole marriage thing was fake to get into the resort,” Lula said.

“Yep.”

“Did you get The Rug?”

“No, but he was there. They were in a cottage on the other side of the property. Unfortunately, they checked out and disappeared before we were able to make contact.”

Okay, truth is, we probably didn’t try as hard as we might have. The spa that went with our cottage was pretty darn fantastic, and I’m not sure Ranger was totally motivated to make an apprehension and leave the island.

Lula took seconds on the macaroni salad. “So why’d you keep saying things were complicated? And why all the secrecy?”

“We haven’t given up on capturing The Rug,” I said. “I don’t want it passed around that I spotted him in Hawaii, and I don’t want him spooked.”

Not to mention that Morelli had felt bad because I was vacationing alone and showed up as a surprise. Fortunately, I was fully clothed and not in the spa when he badged his way past the front desk and appeared on my doorstep. Unfortunately, Morelli’s temper kicked in the minute he saw Ranger, and Morelli coldcocked him with a fist in the face. The result of all this was the hospital drop-off and my early departure.

“I was hoping for a better story than that,” Lula said. “But I guess you could still be pregnant.”

“It’s not likely,” I told her.

“Yeah, but you never know. There could be a chance,” Lula said.

I cut my eyes to my mother to see if she was going to faint again. She had her hand wrapped around the almost-empty whiskey bottle, she was smiling, and her eyes were unfocused.

“She’s shit-faced,” Grandma said. “You should take the bottle away from her before she takes another header into the olive loaf.”

I pried the bottle out of my mother’s hand and returned it to the cupboard.

“Did you by any chance tell Morelli where I was staying in Hawaii?” I asked Grandma.

“Yeah, he called just before you came home. I guess he thought you were in a different hotel, so we told him about the new one. He said he was going to surprise you, and we figured you were spending the last couple days together.”

Okay, so that mystery was solved. I finished my sandwich, dropped Annie’s bottle into my bag, and stood.

“I have to keep moving,” I said to Grandma. “Let me know if you hear anything about anything. I’ve got my RAV back, so I’m leaving the Buick here.”

• • •

Lula and I buckled ourselves into the RAV, and Lula looked through my files.

“We need a capture to break the cycle,” Lula said. “We gotta get the juju turned around. Especially if you’re pregnant.”

“I’m not pregnant.”

“Yeah, but you said that about being married.”

“And I wasn’t married.”

Lula held fast. “You were sort of married.”

Good grief.