Turbo Twenty-Three (Stephanie Plum 23)

“I need a T-shirt,” I said, going into a store. “I don’t have any clothes with me.”

“Babe, everything has the mouse on it.”

“Not true. There are Disney Princess T-shirts and Tinker Bell T-shirts. And I need some undies. Don’t you need undies?”

“I’ll go commando.”

“I think it might be illegal to go commando at Disney.” I pulled some boxers off a shelf. “Buzz Lightyear.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I could take you to infinity and beyond if you were wearing these briefs.”

“You’re going to take me there anyway.”

I got a hot flash. “I’m a little flustered,” I said.

“Maybe this is the happiest place on earth,” Ranger said. “I’m starting to feel happy.”

I bought Tinker Bell panties and a pink Tinker Bell T-shirt with glitter on it.

“We should go back to the hotel so you can put the panties on,” Ranger said.

“Not now.”

“When?”

“You have to wait for it.”

He wrapped an arm around me. “Tinker Bell brings out the best in you.”

I wasn’t sure if that was true, but the physical distance currently between me and my life in Jersey gave me a sense of freedom. Jersey seemed very far away, in more than just miles.

“Instead of going back to the hotel, I think we should have ice cream and go on rides.”

“Don’t even think about the tea cups,” Ranger said.

We watched the fireworks from Main Street and took the water taxi back to our hotel. Ranger called his control room to check on Bogart.

“He’s still here,” Ranger said to me. “I’ll get a text if either of them moves.”

I’ve spent some time in the bedroom with Ranger, but not lately. We have incompatible goals in life. It’s hard for me to have goals beyond the end of the week right now. Things like marriage and children dangle in front of me but I see them in the distance, as if I’m looking through Bernie’s cataract. Ranger has big long-term goals. Life everlasting and saving the world from evil. His short-term goal is to get me into his bed. I’m sure he has other short-term goals but this is the goal of the moment. It’s a decent goal but it puts me between a rock and a hard spot.

The Tinkerbell part of me was in a mental shouting match with the Wendy part of me. Tinkerbell was dying to sleep with Ranger and she was telling me to go for it. Wendy was saying it wouldn’t be the responsible, adult thing to do. And it certainly wouldn’t be a nice thing to do to Morelli.

Ranger was watching me from across the room. “Is there a problem?”

“It’s our goals. They’re different.”

“Not at the moment.”

“Long term. I’m drifting through life without direction. The only thing I see in my future is a hazy picture of marriage. You have a clear direction and marriage isn’t a part of it.”

“This is true.”

“So I need a man who shares my goal of getting married and starting a family.”

“Do you have someone in mind?”