Hardcore Twenty-Four (Stephanie Plum 24)
“How’s the force feeling today?” I asked.
“It’s not good.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’ve got a cramp in my ass that won’t go away.”
“Usually that means your cousin Wulf is in town.”
“I haven’t seen him, but it’s possible.”
“I’m going to assume he’s not the source of the ass cramp.”
“Not at this moment.” Diesel got a beer out of the fridge. “I guess that could change.”
Diesel’s cousin Wulf is a dark, mysterious guy with seemingly magical abilities. Diesel regards him as all smoke and mirrors, but I’m not sure. I met him once, briefly, and I couldn’t determine if he was very good or very evil.
“So, are you going to tell me the source of your ass cramp?” I asked Diesel.
“No.”
“It wouldn’t be zombies, would it?”
“Not likely. Personally, I think they get a bad rap.”
“I hear they like brains.”
“That’s the rumor.” He looked down at the food plate. “Are you going to eat that last dumpling?”
“No. I’m full.”
My phone buzzed with a text message from my mom. Your grandmother needs a ride to the viewing, and I’m holding you responsible if she shoots someone, gets arrested, or tries to take a selfie with the deceased.
Stick a fork in my eye, I thought. It would be less painful than going to the viewing with Grandma.
“I don’t suppose you brought any dessert?” I asked Diesel.
“Dessert is the work of the devil.”
“I’m unhappy. I need dessert.”
“I have something better than dessert. Happiness guaranteed.”
“Gonna pass on that.”
“You’ll come around,” Diesel said.
I had a fear that he was right. I had limitations on my ability to resist temptation.
I washed my fork and put it in the dish drain. “I have to change my clothes. I’m taking Grandma to a viewing tonight.”
“Emily Molinowski,” Diesel said.
I raised an eyebrow.
Diesel tossed the empty food cartons into the garbage. “Lucky guess.”
I decided on a slim knee-length skirt, sleeveless scoop-neck sweater with a matching cardigan, and ballet flats. Heels would have been sexier, but I wasn’t going for sexy. I was going for comfy.