Twist (Off Balance 4)

"I'm not forgoing treatment, per say, I'm just delaying it."

Dr. Kozol studied me, his pen wavering back and forth between his thumb and index finger. “You do know time is of the essence, right?"

I nodded. "I do. Trust me, it's on my mind all the time. What about my lungs? Last time I was here you said there were sounds you didn't like." I couldn’t remember his exact words, just that he was concerned about them. "You heard liquid I think, right?"

He nodded. "They're better. I can still hear it, but it's definitely improved."

My face lit up. "At least I have one good thing going for myself, right?"

Dr. Kozol offered me a kind smile. "You're a week late to see me, you know. When I spoke with your father and we went over your new plan, I expected you to keep to the promise."

I averted my gaze and crossed one leg over the other. He was right. I was supposed to come in last week but never made it. I had pushed it back. He probably thought I didn’t care or take my illness seriously, but that wasn't the case.

Sitting up a little straighter, I looked my doctor directly in the eye.

"I know the last thing you want to hear is an apology, but I really am sorry. It won't happen again. I promise. Last week…" My voice trailed off as I debated telling him the truth. "I've just been deep in my emotions, struggling since everything happened. I only just started telling people. I know it's not an excuse and I'm not trying to make it one, I'm just telling you why I wasn't here. It's a lot to handle and it scares me. I know I need to start dialysis, and the fact I'm not is on my mind all the time. I'm honestly just trying to not let the illnesses get the best of me." I paused, swallowing. "Sometimes they do. I'm slowly accepting it, even though I don't want to."

His face softened with empathy. "Understandable, but Adrianna, I hope you're aware of the risk you're taking. I don't like reminding you how sick you are every time I see you, but…"

I smile. "I know, I know. It's not a matter of if I will die, but when."

Morbid, but it was the truth.

"I'll let it slide this one time, but please don't do it again." Dr. Kozol glanced down at my file and started writing again. "Alright, when the blood work comes back, if anything is amiss, I'll let you know. Are you ready for the good news?"

I nodded vehemently. I couldn’t imagine what it was.

Dr. Kozol exhaled a deep breath. "I'm happy to tell you we've found a kidney match."

I froze.

I couldn't move.

I didn't breathe.

"What?" I said, my voice a little raspy. "What did you say?"

Avery reached out to grab my hand, offering me support. My fingers were cold, her palm hot to the touch and she gave me a little squeeze. I glanced over and met her gaze. My smile was weak, but I tried to show her I was thankful she was here with me.

I blinked so many times trying to hold back my tears while her eyes glittered with profound happiness and love.

My breathing grew dense. "How? Who? When…" I had so many questions running through my mind. I couldn’t think straight.

I was scared this was a dream and I was going to wake up to the nightmare I'd been stuck living inside of for the last couple of months. I prayed it wasn't a sick joke.

"You found a match," I said, and he nodded. "But who? My dad told me he, my brother, and biological mom were not matches. Did he find a distant cousin or aunt or something?" I wasn't going to get my hopes up that Joy was tested, but crazier things had happened.

"We have a match, Adrianna," he said again gently. "In fact, she's sitting right next to you."

Tears blurred my vision and my body broke out in a cold sweat. Wide-eyed, I turned to look at my best friend.

"What?"

I could barely get the word out without my voice shaking. My heart was racing. Before I could stop them, a few tears slipped down my cheek. I knew I wasn't the only person in the world looking for a kidney and the chances of finding someone to donate were slim. That's why my doctor was so adamant that I start treatment. My faith in finding a match had been a bit shaken, but I’d held out hope. But this…my mind wasn't processing everything.

"Avery?" I said, my voice shaking.

Her eyes were glossy with tears, and she was biting into her bottom lip. Her jaw trembled and I could see the truth in her gaze.