Dismount (Off Balance 5)

I saw a person with feelings. Her jaw wobbled and it made my heart ache for her. "Yes. I truly am sorry. I never wanted this for you despite my inabilities. A few times I wished I'd paid more attention to you when you performed. You're incredible, Ana, and I felt like you needed to hear me say that in person."

My lips parted. Her eyes watered and she wiped a tear away that slipped out. I was speechless that she allowed herself to be so vulnerable.

Joy opened the door and I held my breath.

Goodbyes were never easy, and that's what this felt like. We had eighteen years of history together that were coming to an end.

I watched as Joy walked out with the door quietly closing behind her.

In my heart, I knew this was probably the last time I'd ever see her again, and I wasn't sure how to feel other than cry.

Twenty-Three

The first day we flew back to Georgia, I slept the entire day.

In fact, I'd slept for three days straight.

The consequences of pushing myself had set in and I was out for the count. My body kept spasming. Everything tightened up and my body fought against me, trying to take over and bring me down. All I could do was wake up to my alarm going off as a reminder to take my medications, eat something small, and then go right back to sleep. I only had a week until I would be shipped off to Texas again, and my body needed to heal. I may be stubborn, but I wasn't an idiot. Recuperating was an absolute must, or I wouldn’t stand a chance. For once, I listened to my body’s warnings.

I had yet to speak with Kova privately. After I saw Joy, I went to dinner with both coaches and then back to Dad's suite where I’d stayed until we checked out the next day. Dinner had gone surprisingly smooth and luckily short. No words were exchanged between Kova and me after that night and I hadn't seen him since.

Now, I was back on Amelia Island with no way of talking to him. I could use my burner phone, but I didn't want to risk calling him after Katja had picked up that day, so I stored it in a hidden place in my room where it wouldn't be found. It was so tempting, but somehow, I'd managed to resist.

I didn't want to hurt my dad again either. Something about what Sophia had said when she gifted me the book twisted my stomach with guilt.

Still, my heart yearned for Kova. The longing that was caged inside my chest wanted to break free and run to him. I ached for him, his touch, his words, the look in his eyes when it was just the two of us. I fucking missed him so goddamn much. If this was what a real breakup felt like, then I never wanted to experience it again. It hurt.

While I had to drive down to Cape Coral to pack, there still wouldn't be time to see each other. We were flying together to Texas to train and prepare for the Olympics, but it wasn't going to be possible to talk to him during that time either. It definitely couldn't happen on the plane, and there'd be too many ears around for the type of conversation at the training facility too. We needed time, and we didn't have it. I wasn't sure what the status was of his arrest, or if he was charged with anything.

After I finally climbed out of bed, I showered and ate a normal meal, then I texted Avery to tell her I was in town only to get a ton of angry emojis in return because she was away for a cheerleading competition. She congratulated me on making the team. I hadn't told her—apparently Xavier had. When she got back, I'd be in Cape Coral and then Texas. We promised to fill each other in when we got a chance.

Walking into Dad's office, I asked, "Where's Xavier? Is he here?"

He moved the phone away from his face, and mouthed, "Pool house," and pointed a finger toward the window.

Nodding, I turned around and made my way outside and down the walkway to his mini house.

I knocked on the door and waited. I didn't want to barge in on him; who knew what he was doing and with who. It didn't take more than a few seconds for the door to fling open and his bright smile to greet me.

"Hey—"

My brother pulled me into a bear hug and squeezed me. "Sleeping Beauty finally wakes," he joked. Laughing, we separated, and he invited me into the house. "Dad said not to bother you or he would take my credit card and my truck, so I stayed far away."

I beamed up at him. Xavier's truck was his pride and joy.

"It’s all good."

I glanced around. It had been awhile since I was here. His pool house looked nothing like what Avery had described when she told me their breakup story. It looked…livable.

"I really needed the rest. I can't believe how much I slept." His eyes softened with empathy and I pointed a finger. "Don't look at me like that, you loser."

Xavier grinned from ear to ear. "I'm just saying for someone who legit slept for days straight minus five hours, you still look like shit."

I rolled my eyes and took a seat on his couch. "I don't feel like it, though. I did when we first got back and my body locked up. I was throwing up like crazy, but I'm way better now."

Xavier studied me. His honey brown eyes took in my face down to my toes. He grabbed a cigarette out of the pack on the beat-up coffee table and lit it between his thumb and index finger. He took a long drag and exhaled.

"Do you mind?" he asked after he lit it, and I shook my head.