Hold On to Me

John let the tears he was holding in out. She was like a second mother to him—crying in front of her was okay.

“It’s okay, honey,” she said, soothing him. “Have faith. Jace will be okay. I feel it in my gut, and the doctors seem very positive. We have to remain positive. No negative thoughts. You hear me? No negative thoughts, you got that?”

John nodded. He understood what she was saying, but it wasn’t easy to accept.

“The doctors seem hopeful, so you should feel that way too.” she said, looking in his eyes.

John nodded. “I do. I’m being positive …” his eyes skirted around.

“Shhh. What did I say?”

“I know, I know.”

“We have to be strong for him.”

“I am.

I will. ” He believed what he was saying. “Is there any way I can go in and see him, again?”

Her face softened and she nodded. “Go ahead.”

John righted his clothes and took a deep breath before he walked down to Jace’s room. He placed his hand on the heavy gray door and turned the knob with his other hand. The room was dark, cold, and lifeless. The blinds were drawn shut and the tiny lights in the ceiling vents reflected on the floor caused his eyes to adjust. It was dark, but just enough to see.

Jace lay motionless in the bed. This wasn’t Jace. This was the complete opposite of Jace’s personality and what he stood for. He was vibrant and fun, always ready for anything. Nothing held them back.

John strode over to Jace’s bedside and dropped to his knees, completely oblivious to the cold linoleum digging into his knees. He grabbed Jace’s hand, careful not to touch the IV and closed his eyes as he bowed his head. He hadn’t prayed in many years, but over the past couple of days he found himself talking to the big man up above asking for a miracle. Something. Anything. He needed Jace to wake up.

Just as John stood up, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach. He stood stock still, afraid to even breathe. He prayed that what he thought just happened did in fact happen.

John could swear he felt Jace squeeze his hand. It was a faint, light touch, but it gave him newfound hope.

Maybe God was listening after all. Maybe he heard his silent cries pleading to save his friend’s life.

The past four days were a haze.

John had allowed himself to spiral deeper into depression over the accident. He consumed drink after drink, saying fuck you to all as he wallowed in pity. He couldn’t stop blaming himself for the car accident. Every time an image popped in his head, he took a drink. The alcohol had the affect he was hoping for. At one point he couldn’t even think straight enough to think of Jace. His mind was numb.

Then there was Alyssa.

He hadn’t been able to reach her since that day at the river, and she refused to return any of his messages. But he knew where she was–with that trash, Ben. And how did he know? Stupid Facebook. Her status update two days ago is exactly how he knew to look for her at Rum Bar. It was a bar about an hour out of town on the Savannah River. No one ever carded, making it a popular spot for the local college crowd. He saw red the minute he walked in and spotted them. “I’m not your girl, Johnny,” she had said when he tried to pull her away from that fucker. And didn’t that just sting. If it wasn’t for Livy, his brother’s ex-girlfriend, showing up when she did that night could have turned to shit real quick as he was ready to pound on Ben’s face. The last thing he needed was to spend a night in jail over that worthless piece of shit. He didn’t think he’d be able to walk away with community service over something like assault like he did when he and his boys helped Ford’s brother with his school prank.

Bile rose in his throat as he thought about Ben’s arm wrapped around Alyssa’s shoulders. Anger poured through him. That was his girl, not Ben’s. He might have fucked up and said some stupid shit to her, but he didn’t actually mean it. He needed to make it right with her. He needed to start with apologizing.

John sat up to get out of bed, but he immediately regretted it. His head throbbed and his room spun in circles. Thank goodness it was summer or else he’d be flunking out of his classes. He plopped back down on his bed and looked at his watch. It was three in the afternoon? Where had the day gone?

Sighing, he stood up slowly this time and rubbed his eyes. He needed to make a few calls, one being to Alyssa, again, but the first going to Jace’s mom.

“Have you heard from the doctors?” John asked when she answered the line.

“Not much,” Maryanne answered quietly. “His vitals are still being monitored, the ventilator tube is still in and the swelling around his brain hasn’t gone down enough. The doctors aren’t sure when it will happen, but his surgeries are healing nicely, and the bruising on his face has gone down, so that’s a plus.”

John nodded to himself.

“Is it normal that he hasn’t been woken up yet?”

“That’s what they say. He had a serious amount of trauma to his head. So until the swelling goes down, they can’t wake him up. It would be too dangerous. I’d rather them wait until they’re absolutely positively sure anyway.”

John swallowed. “I’m going to come up in a little bit—“