Hold On to Me

His heart raced a mile a minute, his thoughts were a jumbled mess. Would he walk in to find Jace with his eyes open? Would he be talking? Cracking a smile? What happened next? So many questions.

John hadn’t been back but to the hospital since Maryanne told him not come. He wanted to be there, but he also wanted Jace to heal. At times he wished he’d just ignored her wishes and shown up, but he didn’t. So the two weeks were filled with nothing but beer and drunk texts to Alyssa.

Which got him nowhere.

What an idiot he was. Shaking his head, John decided he would deal with that later. Right now it was all about Jace and seeing him awake.

Pulling into the hospital, John parked his truck and took off for the front doors. Going straight for the nurses’ station, he hoped the nurses wouldn’t take long to let him in. His emotions were all over the place and he didn’t think he would be able to handle it.

Exhaling a heavy sigh, John waited until he was given the okay. Walking down the long hallway, he shook out his hands and cracked his neck. He was wound up and nervous as hell, unsure of what to expect. He’s going to be okay, he chanted over and over in his mind until he reached Jace’s room.

Gripping the door knob, he took another deep breath and walked in …

And what he saw shook him to the core.

Jace with his eyes closed.

Jace still hooked up to breathing tubes.

And Maryanne crying at his bedside with red, puffy eyes.

John’s heart pounded against his chest, racing so hard he thought he was going to have a heart attack. Why was Jace still sleeping? Why was he still hooked up to monitors and wires? Why was Maryanne crying? What was happening? A million thoughts ran through his mind.

Then cold dread washed over him and he began to shake.

No. This can’t be happening.

Maryanne stood and shook her head as she walked over to him.

“What?” his voice cracked, shaking his head furiously. “Don’t … don’t say it.”

“This is it,” she said quietly, skipping the pleasantries. Tears streamed down her blotchy face. “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else that can be done. He has no brain activity, John.”

“What?” he asked, stunned. He was struggling to breathe. Knots were forming in the back of his throat. “That can’t be.”

“Nothing,” she shook her head. “The doctors performed an EEG last week. We’ve been waiting, but …” she trailed off. “Nothing, John. There’s nothing there,” she cried quietly. “We’ve been waiting for some miracle, but the test shows no activity whatsoever.”

Disbelief hit him hard. “Well, maybe he needs time?”

She shook her head. “If there was some activity in his brain, then yes, but there’s not. He’s been surviving solely on life support.”

How could this be? His chest was splitting in two. No brain activity?

“Why didn’t you call me? You said you would call! I waited for you. I could’ve had more time with him!”

John paced back and forth, life flashed before his eyes. How could she not call him? Guilt hit him hard. Why had he not just shown up?

“John … I’m so sorry.” He locked eyes with her and knew what she was going to say. “I …” she struggled with words, “I have to take him off life support.”

/> “What?”

No.

Chills ran down John’s spine. He was in shock. He grabbed his stomach as the nausea rolled through him. No … Just no. Take him off life support? John began shaking his head frantically. She was wrong. The doctors were wrong. Everyone was wrong. He needed more time. It wasn’t time for Jace to go!

“He needs more time. Give him more time.”

She shook her head. “It won’t help,” she said sadly, tears streaming down her face.