Hold On to Me

Lifting her gown to bear her stomach, the doctor pressed three fingers to her ribs and searing pain ricocheted through her body. She cinched her eyes shut and struggled for breath as she pulled away. How had she not felt this searing pain when she woke up before?

Probably because she was too frantic to feel anything.

The doctor reached around to her other side and followed the same motions as before. She felt no pain. Pulling her gown down, Dr. Cahill removed his gloves.

“Like I said fractured ribs. There’s nothing we can do for those so you just need to take it easy.”

“She will,” John butted in.

“You’ll need to follow up with your OB/GYN once you’re released. It’s imperative. Do you understand?” she felt like he was ridiculing her.

“I do.”

“Good.” Dr. Cahill grabbed his files and paused. “You’re very lucky, Mrs. Winters. If you need anything, page the nurses’ station and they’ll call me. If all goes well, you should be able to leave in a day.” He gave her a tight, firm smile and left.

The door closed with a swish. John’s eyes connected with Alyssa’s as he walked back over to her.

“How long are you here for?” she asked.

“Not long, just three more days. I’m leaving Sunday night.” Sitting down, John leaned over and rested his elbows on his knees. His hands were clasped together as he stared at the ground. “Why didn’t you come to me?”

The disappointment in his crackling voice hurt to hear. Alyssa turned her head away and stared at the closed drapes. “Because I couldn’t. I didn’t have a choice.” she answered quietly.

“We always have a choice, Alyssa.”

“Not always.”

When he said nothing, she said, “You have no idea what it was like. He was ruining my life. I couldn’t pull you into the fire too. You’d just enlisted. I wasn’t going to take that away from you.”

John stood up, an eerie darkness surrounding him. “He could have killed you. Do you have no regard for your life and your unborn child’s life?”

“I left, didn’t I?” she retorted.

“You left too late.”

Alyssa’s shoulders sagged, her eyes were heavy. She was completely depleted of energy to argue with John. “John, I can’t do this right now.”

“Did you think about me at all? About the devastation I would’ve suffered if something happened to you? I would have helped. You saw how Jace’s death affected me,” he said, placing a flat hand to his chest. “It damn near destroyed me permanently. I’m still not fully recovered from that, and I don’t think I could handle it if something happened to you.” John let out a loud sigh and lowered his voice. “Alyssa, when I got the call from my pops, I was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t think straight. I raced down here as fast as I could to be by your side, praying and wishing for a miracle that you’d be okay.”

A lone tear dripped down her cheek. John saw it and said, “I’m sorry for making you cry. That’s not what I wanted.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, wiping the tear away.

“No, it’s not okay to make you cry. I don’t want to hurt you, Alyssa. I just want answers.”

“I don’t have answers that you’re going to like.” Another tear slipped out. “You’re not hurting me, Johnny. Everything you said was spot on. Sometimes the truth hurts to hear, that’s all.”

Grabbing a tissue, John sat on the edge of the bed and blotted her tears away. “You look exhausted. Why don’t you get some rest?”

John stood. He leaned over and dropped a kiss to her forehead, breathing her in. He turned to walk away, but she grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Please, don’t go just yet.” Alyssa didn’t want to be alone, she needed John. Scooting over on the bed, pain shot through the bones of her ribs to her chest, but she held it in. Looking up with round eyes, she asked, “Would you lie next to me?”

Don’t say no … Don’t say no …

John contemplated her request with a tilt of his head. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You would only hurt me if you didn’t lie with me.”