Chasing Red (Chasing Red 1)

Her smile was wide. “I’ve spent enough days with you to know you’re not a serial killer. Plus, I love you already, bitch.”

My chest tightened painfully. I wanted to hug her, but I just smiled. “Love you too, asshole.”

Chapter Nine

Veronica

As soon as I entered Caleb’s apartment, I noticed the quiet. If Caleb came home early, I’d usually hear him moving around, followed by the smell of burned toast lingering in the air. He always cranked the toaster dial higher than necessary when he wasn’t paying attention. But there was no scent of food as I headed to the kitchen. I wanted to tell him that I was moving out tomorrow before I started packing my things.

A movement on the balcony had me reaching automatically for my pocketknife. There was little moonlight, and I strained my eyes to see who it was.

Opening the french doors, I stepped out into the night air.

Caleb was sitting in the dark, elbows on his knees, head lowered like he was grieving.

I knew something had happened. Something bad.

I’d never seen him so subdued, so alone.

“Caleb?”

The only acknowledgment he gave me was a slight movement of his head.

Slowly, I approached him. This was the first time I’d willingly sought him out after weeks of avoiding him. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I could see him clearly now. I hadn’t seen his face up close in so long that the sight of it hit me like a punch. Even in sadness, he was strikingly handsome, and I couldn’t help admiring his beauty.

“Do you want to be alone?” I asked softly.

It was a moment before he responded. “No.”

Other than the bench he was sitting on, the balcony was empty. It was clear he didn’t usually spend much time out here. I sat beside him quietly, waiting for him to give me a sign, anything, so I’d know what to do.

“My parents are getting a divorce,” he said after a while. His voice was detached, as if he’d just asked me to pass the salt.

There was nothing I could say to make it better. Slowly, I reached for Caleb’s hand, holding it in mine. If I could give him anything, it was my presence at this moment. His hand was as cold as mine was warm, as big as mine was small. I used both my hands to rub warmth into his hand. I glanced at his face. I could see how sadness was pulling down the corners of his eyes. His jaw was tight, his lips pulled back in a disapproving curve.

“I was expecting it. For a long while now, actually.” He whispered so softly that I had to lean toward him to hear.

“He had other women. He cheated on my mother so many times, but she stuck by him. She didn’t believe in divorce. She was crying when I saw her today. I could barely get her out of bed to eat something.”

His hand fisted in a tight ball as his anger surfaced. I knew he was barely holding it back.

“I fucking hate him. I want to kill him.”

“You could,” I replied softly. “But what purpose would that serve? I’ve always wondered why life chooses certain people to punish.”

I felt his green eyes on me, but I looked out into the night.

“No matter how much you want to protect the people you love, Caleb, you can’t. You can only be there for them. You can’t choose their path because it is theirs alone. It’s their fight, not yours.”

There were no stars in the sky. The city was too bright, with its skyscrapers and gaudy blinking neon signs obliterating their light.

I took a deep breath and continued. “I’ve learned to accept that it’s not my fault when bad things happen to me or to the people I love. It’s just the way life is. It’s not fair. If you’re one of the unlucky ones, then fight. Be stronger. Be stronger because you have no choice. Be stronger than you are right now because if you’re not, life will swallow you up and spit you out. And then you’ll die with a broken heart.”

Just like my mom.

I knew I sounded cynical, but life had made me tough. When I shifted my eyes to his face, he was watching me. Even in the dark, his eyes looked fierce as they searched mine.

“Stop brooding, Caleb. Fight back.” I smiled at him, squeezing his hand. “Give me back your smiles because there is something wrong with the universe without them.”