Unconditional

“I need a drink,” I say, looking around the restaurant. My face falls slightly when I see Aria and Penelope approaching the table. I was hoping to get a drink in before they returned. I figure now is the time to smooth things over if I don’t want Aria to chop my dick off tomorrow, so I turn to her and smile. “Sorry about that…I guess I’ve had a lot of opinions thrown at me for my decisions the last ten years.”

“Oh,” her eyes widen and she smiles like she wasn’t expecting my apology but thrilled she was getting it, “no worries, I understand. I didn’t mean to be intrusive.”

“All good. Should we get some drinks?”

We’re heading out later that night, after dinner, and Aria and Henry are moving towards their Uber after they both indulged in a few too many drinks. I, on the other hand, stuck to one and then switched to water, despite Penelope goading me into taking a few shots with them. “I hope you’re not driving.”

“No umm…I can call an Uber?” she says.

I’m instantly annoyed by my gentleman instinct kicking in when I just want to go home and check on Maddie after her radio silence all evening. When she was younger and I’d been on dates, she’d rapid-fire message me, asking me how it was going and to take a picture of the dessert menu so she could pick out something for me to bring her.

Things were so simple back then.

Didn’t stop me from ordering her a piece of carrot cake.

“I’ll take you home.”

“Oh, are you sure?” She looks up at me through her eyelashes and gives me a shy smile that I see through instantly.

“Yep, come on.”

Twenty minutes later, I’m pulling up to her apartment building and she hesitates with the door handle as I unbuckle my seatbelt to get out to walk her to her door. “Do you want to come up?”

“Maybe some other time, Penelope.” I smile at her, trying my best to let her down gently. “I have to be up early and—”

“I get it.” She cuts me off, and a part of me feels like a dick, but another part—an even bigger part—overwhelms me, and that part only cares about being a dick to Maddie.

I make my way around my car to help her out and walk her towards her front door. “I had fun.”

“Me too, Cal.” She hugs me, and as she pulls away, I press my lips to hers, trying to soothe the rejection she might be feeling as best as I can. Even as I do it, it feels wrong. I feel nothing and it irritates the shit out of me. She’s a good kisser and I can’t even appreciate it. Her arms immediately wrap around my neck as she pushes herself closer to me, sliding her tongue through my lips and coaxing mine into hers. I let this go on for a considerate amount of time, before I pull back, leaving a huge smile on her face. She gives me a small wave and I notice her perfume lingers even after she disappears inside.

I drive at the speed of a racecar driver to get home, and when I pull into my driveway, I nod at Peters on the way in. I’m not surprised to see a light on, knowing that Maddie always leaves it on for me so it’s not pitch black when I get home. I don’t expect her to be awake at 1 AM, so I’m shocked when I see her sitting on the stairs as soon as I walk in the house.

“Mads? Why are you awake? And sitting here?”

She blinks at me like she isn’t sure she heard me or isn’t sure how to answer. Shame and guilt encroach on my senses, and I try to push them away with the belief that I have no reason to feel guilty. “I brought cake.” I hold up the bag and again she doesn’t respond.

“Maddie, what’s wrong?” I move closer to sit next to her on the step, but that must have been the wrong thing to do because she backs up and shakes her head.

“I smell her all over you.” She scrunches her nose like it’s offensive.

“Sorry, she was wearing a lot.”

“I…I can take it to the dry cleaning…your jacket. Because it’s…strong.” I can’t read her mood, so I just nod graciously. “Did you like her?”

“She was nice.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Maddie, what’s going on with you, huh? I feel like you’re so angry with me and…”

“Because you’re angry with me!” She stands up in front of me and furrows her brows at me.

I furrow my brows, confused. When am I ever mad at you? “What? No, I’m not. Why would I be mad?”

“This morning?” she asks weakly.

Oh. Right. The whole reason I even agreed to this fucking date. To further emphasize the line that Maddie and I didn’t need to be crossing. Ever.