Unconditional

“I’m not mad. It was an accident. We’re good, Maddie. Always.” I smile at her, hoping that makes her a little less mad at me. Except her eyes show that she’s pissed.

“Did you kiss her?”

“What?”

“There’s lipstick…” She points at my face and I can see the hurt as clear as day on her face.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I didn’t even think to check the mirror between dropping her off and getting home.

“Maddie, you’re out of fucking line.” I stand up, officially over this conversation. But not quite for the reason I was expecting. I’m over it because she’s jealous and I hate that she is. I hate that she doesn’t know me well enough to know that she is the only woman that matters to me.

My mind tries to ignore that I just thought of her as a woman. But my dick hears it loud and clear.

My mind continues to race as I put her cake in the fridge.

“Excuse me?” she snaps at me.

“You heard me, Madeline. So, what, I kissed her? Why does that fucking matter?” I hope she can hear the translation in my words. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. You. fucking. Matter. Don’t make us do this tonight.

She blinks her eyes a few times and shakes her head. “You’re right. Shit. It’s…your business.”

Fuck that. “Maddie…” I reach an arm out for her, suddenly pissed at myself for the tone I took with her as I witness her shutting down before my very eyes.

“Thanks for the cake. I’m going to bed.” She backs out of the room slowly, like I might attack her if she makes any sudden movements before I hear her bolting up the stairs and closing her door.

I CAN FEEL THE PHYSICAL ache behind my eyelids the next morning when the sunlight peers through my blinds. I spent the entire night in tears after what happened between me and Cal and not just because I was upset and feeling what I believe to be some sort of heartbreak, but because I was humiliated. I acted like a jealous girlfriend and he fucking called me on it.

How the hell am I supposed to face him ever again?

I’ll admit it, I was jealous. Seeing the pink on his lips mixed with her scent all over him made me feel territorial as fuck. It pissed me off that some woman had tried to stake her claim on him. A claim that I had somehow twiste

d myself into believing I’m entitled to.

You can’t fucking have him, Maddie! I had been so blind with jealousy that the words were leaving my mouth before I could stop them.

Cal doesn’t want you, Maddie. Why the hell would he want some dumb kid?! A kid who’s sheets he had to change when she wet the bed.

Even though it was only once, it happened, and what makes you think he’d ever see you in a way other than that girl? Maybe one day as an adult, but certainly never as a partner.

I pry my eyes open and groan when the harshness of daylight hits my face. I submerge my face in my pillow and groan again. My eyes feel swollen and tired and I can already bet that they’re red along with my splotchy skin that comes with my crying. The house is quiet, and I’m assuming Cal has already left for work, so I pad out of my bedroom and down the stairs to look for coffee without even a glance in a mirror. When I get downstairs, I’m stunned to see him sitting in the kitchen, reading the newspaper, and for a brief moment, I think about darting back upstairs to hide.

Great.

I walk by him, mumbling a Morning and grab a mug to pour myself a cup of coffee.

“Hey.” His voice is smooth. Like warm honey pouring over me and sinking into my bones.

I turn around and put the steaming cup to my lips. “Hey.”

He frowns and stands up, making his way over to me. “Your eyes are so red.” He touches the skin under them and it might as well have been a direct line to my sex because it throbs under his innocent touch.

“I uh—I was up late reading on my phone.”

He nods like he doesn’t believe me and takes a step back. “I told you to stop that. You’re going to ruin your eyes.”

His scolding doesn’t do anything but exacerbate the pulse. God, what is wrong with me?

“Right. Sorry.”