Unconditional

You okay? she mouths and I nod, blinking the rest of the tears back. She purses her lips slightly like she doesn’t believe me but doesn’t push the subject.

“Are you coming to Jeff’s tonight?” Her jet black, curly hair falls around her as she leans forward and raises her perfectly shaped eyebrows up and down.

“Ummm, no.” I take a sip of my water and watch as everyone turns to me.

“Why not?” Melanie Andrews asks. Melanie is so desperate to be Sasha’s best friend it’s actually kind of sad. I let her have it because as much as I love Sasha, she’s too high maintenance for me sometimes, and Melanie handles it much better than I care to. She tucks a red hair behind her ear and leans forward with her hand under her chin like I have some juicy story for not wanting to come to the party.

“Daddy Cop said no?” Sasha cocks her head to the side and her curls brush over her shoulder.

I roll my eyes. “You know I hate when you call him that.” Mostly because I follow about a hundred Daddy related Tumblr blogs that drive me out of my goddamn mind.

They are hot as hell.

“I don’t see the big deal; school’s out for a week starting tomorrow and Jeff’s parents come back Saturday!” Translation: We’re going to get fucked up.

“As riveting as getting drunk off cheap beer in his basement sounds, it’s supposed to storm and you know I get a little skittish during them.”

“But Mike was bringing his friend from his rec lacrosse team to meet you. Come on, Mads, you have to meet him. He’s gorgeous and smart and like All-American or whatever.” She waves her hand and her boyfriend takes notice.

“Ummm, hello?” Mike, her boyfriend of the last three years, says from next to her and she turns her head to look at him, her eyes sparkling and shooting him that look that makes him putty in her hands.

“Yes, hi, what’s up?” She blinks her eyes several times.

He narrows his eyes at her and taps her olive button nose. “I’ve got my eye on you.”

“You’ve got your eyes on my ass, calm down.” She waves him off and turns to me and I chuckle at their back and forth. “You have to come, please!” She puts her hands together and her bottom lip juts out in a pout. “It’ll be so fun. Just tell Cal you’re coming to my house.”

“That’s not exactly helping. Cal doesn’t trust you, Sash.” I giggle as I think about the few times I did get into mischief. Sasha Parker was always a step behind me.

Her hand finds her chest and she scoffs. “Well, I never! I am offended.”

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Are you?”

The bell rings, forcing all of us to get up and head back to our classes. Sasha falls into step with me as we head to our fifth period calculus class. “Maddie, you’re really not coming?”

“I mean Cal said I couldn’t go out.”

“Ugh, fine.” She scoffs and pulls out her phone. “This is so lame. I’ll see if we can move the party to tomorrow. Can you come then?”

“I’ll see. Why is it so imperative that I’m there, Sash?”

“Because! You’re my best friend and it won’t be as fun without you.” She hops from one foot to the other and does a little shimmy. “Listen, if you don’t come, the party will die.” She puts a hand over her forehead and pretends to faint.

“Anyone ever tell you, you’re dramatic?”

“Anyone ever tell you, bite me?”

I chuckle and wrap an arm around her neck. “Come on, crazy, let’s get to class.”

“Or we can ditch?” She shoots me a mischievous look and I just shake my head at her as we make our way down the hall.

I spend most of my calculus class the same way I do when I get bored: trying to keep my mind from drifting to Cal. It doesn’t help that I could probably teach this calculus class, and according to my teacher, I’m not quite being “challenged” enough. You know what’s challenging? Trying to focus on derivatives when all you can think about is the man you live with working out in the basement without a shirt. I’m fairly certain I saw God the first time I watched him do chin ups.

I clear my throat as the moan threatens to escape my lips and the girl next to me gives me a questioning look. I give her a thumbs up letting her know that I’m fine but mostly to mind her business.

Is this what all women in love, or in lust or whatever this is, deal with?

I am in motherfucking hell.