Our Way

“What happened between you?” she asks.

“We were best friends for ten years and I was with other people. Men.”

“How do you identify your sexuality, Nathan?”

“Pansexual,” he replies without hesitation.

My eyebrows rise. Wow, he seems definite on that answer now.

Progress.

“But while we were friends, I fell in love with her.”

I smile softly.

“How long were you together?”

“Six weeks.”

“How long were you in love with her before that?”

“Ten years.

I sip my wine, fascinated by what I’m hearing.

“Although, I didn’t realize it for a long time.”

“And how did you finally come to that realization?”

“I couldn’t bring myself to have sex with anyone else. I only wanted to be with her.”

“So, you were having sex with her the entire time?”

“No, we were platonic friends. But I would rather go without sex than sleep beside someone else. In the end, I couldn’t betray her. Not even if I had wanted to.”

“Sleeping beside her was important to you?”

“She was the best thing in my life.”

I close my eyes in regret. Why didn’t he just talk to me.

“What was the catalyst for your breakup?” Amanda asks.

“She thinks that I only wanted to be with her so that I could have children.”

My heart sinks, and the apple hisses in the saucer on the hotplate. “Shit.” I snap as I lift it off the heat.

“How did that make you feel?” Amanda asks.

Silence…

“Nathan,” she urges. “Tell me how that made you feel.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Aren’t you here to sort this problem out?”

“I… I can’t talk about it,” he stammers. “I have to go.”