Our Way

“Oh, and you do?”

“Yeah, I fucking do.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, please, what Nathan? You tell me,” I fire back. This is all about him, my anger begins to escalate. “You tell me what hurts!”

“It’s wanting what you can’t fucking have!” he cries. He glares at me and gets in the car before he speeds off down the street. I hear his tires screeching in the distance.

I stare down the street and feel my heart beating hard in my chest.

What the hell is going on with him?

10

Eliza

I walk inside with a heavy heart, and I get into the elevator.

Damn it, what the hell is wrong with me? The one time… the only fucking time, that Nathan needed me to be there for him, and I couldn’t do it. I was so self-absorbed, so green with envy over her.

Ugh, I can’t even say her name without twitching. Stephanie.

I close my eyes in regret. Why didn’t I handle this better? So, he likes another girl. So he told me about it. Would I rather he lied?

And here I was thinking that me and him were perhaps…having moments.

I close my eyes and bump the back of my head onto the elevator wall.

You idiot.

God, Eliza, this takes the cake for the most selfish dick move of all time.

Your best friend opens up and tells you he’s confused about his sexuality, and you get angry with him.

I’m a selfish fucking cow.

The doors of the elevator open, and I stare out into the corridor for a moment.

I can’t go inside feeling like this. I hit the ground button, hard. I’m going over there. Nathan needs me, and God damn it, I’m going to show up.

This is not about me, this is about him. Why would I act like this?

Jealousy. God damn it, why am I so selfish?

Twenty

minutes later, I get out of my cab outside Nathan’s apartment.

I dial his number as I peer up to the lights on the tenth floor.

“What’s wrong?” he answers.

“I’m downstairs.”

“What, why?”

“Are you letting me in or not?” I ask in frustration.

“I’ll call the doorman.” The phone goes dead.