Stanton Box Set

He stays silent and I know he has remembered that awful day also. I silently make his snack while he watches me and I hand him the plate.

“Thanks.” he smirks.

“You’re welcome,” I breathe.

“Show me your room,” he whispers.

I nod like a nervous fourteen-year-old about to show her boyfriend her room for the first time. “This way.” I take his hand and lead him down the hall to my bedroom. Why does it feel more intense in this house than it does in mine? I’m nervous.

I get to the door and gesture with my arm into the doorway. “Here it is,” I stammer.

He can sense my nerves and smiles as he walks in and looks around. “Has it changed since you moved out?”

I shake my head nervously. “No, this is how I left it.” I close the door behind us.

He sit

s in the chair in the corner and smiles again as his eyes scan the room.

“Hmm, it’s nice. Your presence is very strong in here,” he whispers.

I smile meekly. I know why I am nervous. This is the first time Joshua has been here as my boyfriend … booty call, whatever the hell I am.

“My presence? That’s very deep,” I stammer.

He puts his toast and tea on the side table and sits on my bed and rubs the mattress in a circle. He pats it for me to sit next to him and I do.

“Is this the bed you slept on?” he asks.

I smile and nod.

“Did you ever think of me when you were lying in it?” he whispers as his eyes darken and drop to my lips.

“Yes,” I whisper.

“Did you ever touch yourself while you thought of me?”

I drop my head and he puts his finger under my chin and brings my face back up to his as his eyes search mine.

“Yes,” I whisper again as I twist my hands nervously in front of me.

“Did you ever think you would have me sleep in this bed with you?” he smirks sexily as he runs his hand down my clavicle and cups my breast.

“No,” I whisper.

“How are we going to celebrate our strength in this bed tonight?” he whispers as he leans in and kisses me softly and his lips linger over mine.

He’s right, this is a momentous night. I would lie here and cry myself to sleep every night wishing that he wasn’t my cousin, wishing that we could be here together, wishing that I had my parents’ support. And here we are eight long years later, he is not biologically my cousin although my stomach twists with the hurt that knowledge brings. We are here together and my mother is one hundred per cent behind us. I make an internal decision, I love this man and I do want to celebrate my strength … with him.

I kiss him gently. “I want you to make love to me in this bed tonight, Josh. I want more than anything to be able to celebrate our strength together.” My hand drops to his face and I kiss him gently again.

“Tash,” he whispers. His lips take mine and the emotion behind it rips my heart wide open. That’s it, I’m gone.

I smile as my eyes fill with tears. “I love you,” I whisper. “Make love to me, baby. I need you.”

He kisses me again, more urgently, more intensely. His tongue gently licks my lips as his hands hold my face, and my insides start to liquefy. He stands and, with his eyes not leaving mine, he starts to undress slowly and my heart starts to thump in my chest.

“What about your toast?” I ask nervously.