Maidenhead

GAYL: No?

LEE: No.

GAYL: Well, she was marked now, for sure. Not by his piss, but my slap.

§

On the last night of our family vacation, I woke up, too hot, to my parents’ synchronized breathing. My father had a pinched nose so it sounded like an exaggeration. He was the conductor. My mother slept between my father and the wall. My brother had the cot. I was in the queen-sized bed with my sister. Something, it was obvious, was wrong with my face. It felt like my cheek had exploded on the pillow. My mother noticed how red it had been yesterday when I found my way back to the pool.

‘You got too much sun there,’ she said, glaring over her sunglasses.

I knew I had to get up out of bed and check out what was going on. It was way too dark inside our room. My father had shut the curtains before bed because the college kids at the motel had been staying up all night. Our thick flowered drapes didn’t hide noise very well. Our room faced the pool. That pool was slimy with sunscreen and saliva. Sometimes garbage was floating on it in the morning. My mom said we’d never stay at a place like this again.

I got out of bed as quiet as I could and touched along the wall to the crack of light from the bathroom. I knew something was wrong from that wetness on my pillow, but at first, in the mirror, I didn’t think it was me – my cheek was completely swollen as if plastic were inside it. My eye above it was a slit. My nostril was even pinched on that side.

I realized that it had been me who was wheezing out there, not my father.

I climbed into the tub to lie down. I pulled the shower curtains tight to each end. I felt sand through my pyjamas from all of our feet. Five bathing suits drooped on the string near the ceiling. Mine was that fucking pink wet one with holes in the sides.

I thought I was definitely going to have to tell my mom what had happened to me. She’d probably want to call the police. My cheek throbbed. It was assault. I wished I could tell her what had happened to me, but the story felt too twisted. I’d already made so many wrong moves.

I fell asleep in the bath like the Elephant Man, knowing I would not tell the truth.

§

It was Jody who found me in the morning. ‘Something’s wrong with Myra, Mom, come!’

My mother’s face hung over the bath. She told Jody to get some ice wrapped up in a towel. She was more animated than I’d seen her all week.

‘Myra, the sun, oh the sun, the terrible sun.’

She swirled the tip of her finger onto my burning-hot cheek.

The fluorescent lights buzzed. Jody found ice.

‘You didn’t put on sunscreen, Myra, I’m sorry. It’s monstrous, this sun.’

My mother didn’t want to leave me alone when she saw me like that in the morning so swollen and sore. I told her she should go out and have her last day, I was fine. Our plane took off at ten o’clock at night.

‘I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here with you,’ my mother said.

‘Please just go,’ I moaned. I was still in the bath. ‘Go to the beach, bitch ... ’

Jody dumped the rest of the ice in the sink and she left the room. I heard Jeff laugh outside. The TV was on.

‘Myra!’

I had just said the wor

d bitch. My father came to watch me and my mom through the crack in the bathroom door. He tried hard not to look at my ballooned-up cheek.

‘Myra,’ my mom said softly. ‘Why are you so upset?’

‘Why the fuck do you think I’m upset?’ I swore really loud. My mom stepped backwards. It flew out of my mouth, first bitch and now fuck.

‘Myra!’ my dad yelled. ‘Quiet!’

I noticed Jody and Jeff go out to the hallway. ‘Take the kids to the beach, Neil. Please.’