Addicted to You (Swanson Court 2)

Landon frowns. “Where was I?”

“You told me you had meetings, but I saw a picture of you, having dinner with some woman.”

His whole body seems to stiffen. “You what?”

“I saw you,” my voice sounds small and petty, even to me. Why had I not considered that he would be here, waiting for me? I breathe. “I saw you with your dinner date, and you looked like you were having a good time.”

He looks hurt and confused. “And you left?” he exclaims, his voice sounding incredulous. “You didn’t think you needed to ask me about it before walking away?”

I close my eyes. “You lied to me about where you were last night. Maybe I didn’t want to wait to be lied to again.”

He laughs, and it’s a frustrated, angry sound. “I didn’t lie to you. I had meetings. I had a meeting with her, just like I had meetings with other people over the course of the day. I decided to conclude our meeting over dinner to save time. Are you satisfied, or would you like a fucking list of every single person I spoke to yesterday?”

I feel as if he slapped me. “I’m not supposed to care that you were out with someone else when you told me you’d be working? I’m not supposed to care that you didn’t think to mention it to me until I saw it online? Fine then,” I shrug. “I don’t care.”

He glares at me, then turns away, pulling out his phone from his pocket to make a call. “You can come back now,” he says curtly before disconnecting and making another call. “She’s here,” I hear him say, then after a pause. “No, she’s okay.”

He pushes the phone back into his pocket and glowers in my direction. “Do you realize I had my driver searching the streets for you? Do you realize your cousin was worried about you? You preferred to take a walk across the city, at this time, alone, because you saw a picture online. For fuck’s sake, Rachel! Do you know what could have happened? How would I ever fucking forgive myself if anything happened to you?”

His voice is raised, his jaw hard and tight, but he has that sad, haunted look in his eyes, the one I saw last weekend, the night he told me about his mother. Shame descends on me what I realize what I’ve done. She left too, based on something someone told her. Something she didn’t wait to confirm.

I cover my face with my hands. “Landon, I didn’t think...”

“No you didn’t,” he looks resigned. “You were too eager to indict me.” He spears me with his eyes, and I see the accusation in the blue depths. “Are we still at this stage, Rachel? Are you still looking for excuses to walk away?”

I don’t reply. His car appears on the street and comes to a stop beside him, Joe behind the wheel.

“You can go up now.” Landon’s voice is emotionless. “I’ll send your things later tonight.”

He turns towards the car, going to open the back door. I know what I’ve done, and the realization of how much I’ve hurt him settles like a weight on my shoulders. If he leaves now… I can’t bear to think that he might never come back.

“Wait,” I say, my voice breaking on the word. “Please, Landon.”

He stops and turns to look at me. My eyes are wet, and I feel as if I’m hurting all over. “I’m sorry,” I whisper.

He doesn’t move, and I inhale, a tear rolling down my cheek. He mutters a curse, then he’s walking towards me, holding my body to his with one hand while he wipes the tear from my face.

“You’re going to drive me crazy,” he whispers.

“I’m sorry,” I repeat, burying my face in his chest.

He breathes. “Are you sure you won’t go up? Laurie was very worried.”

I shake my head. “No. I want to come with you.”

WE don’t say much during the drive back to his place. I can tell he’s deep in thought, and I wish I knew what he was thinking about. I switch my phone back on and see all the texts from Laurie asking where I am, and I respond with an apology and an assurance that I’m alright.

She replies immediately.

“What happened?”

“Long story. I’ll tell you later.”

*Confused face*

Then. “Landon was out of his mind with worry. You’ll have to try harder to convince me that he doesn’t feel something for you, maybe something as deep as what you feel. Just my opinion.”

I look from my screen to Landon’s face, he’s looking out of the window, the line of his jaw illuminated by the lights from outside the car. His face is unreadable at the moment. If he feels anything now, I decide, it’s probably annoyance, impatience, and disappointment that I hadn’t cared to think my actions through.