To Love Again

although it was hard work, it was also very rewarding.

Which was perhaps as well, if what she suspected turned out to be true! Lucas had made it

clear from the beginning that he didn’t want any more children yet, if ever, and so she had

taken the necessary precautions. Unfortunately, something seemed to have gone wrong, and she

now had a feeling she had become pregnant as early as their honeymoon—those two nights and

days when they hadn’t ventured from their hotel room except to eat, and sometimes not even

then.

She hadn’t dared to even mention the possibility to Lucas, hadn’t even gone to her doctor

yet to have her suspicion confirmed or denied, longing for it to be true, and yet uncertain of

Lucas’s reaction to it if she should turn out to be pregnant.

He had so much enjoyed having Daisy and Robin here the last month, and spent as much

time with them all as he could. As Christi’s work on the advertisements was now over, and the

children’s school closed for the summer, they had been able to go out for several days.

Christi felt for Lucas now, knew he hadn’t felt able to come and help with the packing

because hedidn’t really want to take the children back to Marsha just yet, either. But, until he

did something definite about taking the children, none of them had any choice.

She stood up decisively, steadying Daisy in front of her. ‘Let’s get this packing done so

that we can all have lunch,’ she suggested, deliberately appealing to the fact that they both

loved to eat.

Miraculously, the cases were packed within seconds, and she smiled at the two

children indulgently as she went to prepare their lunch. Because she had moved into Lucas’s

apartment, giving up the lease on her own, and because the apartment only had two

bedrooms, she had advised Marsha to give the children’s nanny the last month off, preferring to

look after them herself for that short time. At least that way, if she made any mistakes— and

she had made many!—they didn’t have to be witnessed by an expert.

Lucas was already in the kitchen, cooking the hamburgers he had promised the children

they could have as their last meal of their stay, turning to smile at Christi as she joined him.

The children raced into the dining-room, squabbling over who should be laying the table.

As usual, Christi’s heart contracted with love as she gazed at Lucas. Moving easily into

his arms, she rested her head against his shoulder. She drew in a quivering breath as his arms

tightened about her convulsively. ‘We’re going to miss them, aren’t we?’ She spoke sadly.

She could feel him smile against her hair. ‘It’s certainly going to be a lot quieter around

here,’ he derided as the argument in the other room became louder.

Once again he had passed up an opportunity she had given him to tell her he wanted the

children to come and live with them, and she moved away disappointedly, taking over the

cooking of the hamburgers. ‘I think you had better go and stop World War Three in there,’

she advised dully, her face averted as she sensed him watching her with puzzled eyes.

‘Christi?’ he prompted softly.

Oh God, why couldn’t he talk to her, confide in her? The nights they shared were

perfect, couldn’t have been more giving, and yet when they were together like this Christi

always sensed that Lucas was holding something back from her, that there was a large part

of himself he wasn’t prepared to give.

‘I’m just a little tired,’ she dismissed shruggingly, still unable to meet his gaze.

‘Taking care of Robin and Daisy has been hard work for you.’ He was instantly

apologetic. ‘How about if we try and sort out some time for our own honeymoon?’ He took her in

his arms, moulding her body to his.

She made a face. ‘I start rehearsals for the new play next week,’ she reminded, having

finally found work in the theatre again. It was another small part, but an improvement on the last

one, where she had only had one line of dialogue!

‘So you do.’ He released her reluctantly as the sound of breaking glass came from the

next room. ‘Most of the time, they’re very well behaved,’ he muttered as he turned to enter the

dining-room. ‘But when they have a bad day everyone knows about it!’

The smile Christi had shared with him faded as soon as the door closed behind him. She

had known being married to a man as complex as Lucas wasn’t going to be easy, but waiting for

him to confide in her didn’t make it any easier. Why couldn’t he come right out and say, ‘Christi, I

want Daisy and Robin to come and live with us’? He had to know she wouldn’t say no, that

she had never been able to deny him anything. It was the waiting that was upsetting her.

And the fact that she was probably pregnant and feared Lucas’s reaction to that!

‘I think you’ve actually grown,’ Marsha told her son indulgently after hugging him.

Daisy cuddled up on her mother’s knee, her earlier reluctance to return home completely

forgotten in the excitement of seeing her mother again.

Christi and Lucas had driven the children home soon after lunch, finding Marsha and

Julian very tanned from their holiday, Marsha more beautiful than ever with her sparkling hazel-

coloured eyes and her golden skin.

The newly married couple seemed very relaxed and happy together, and for the

children’s sake, as much as anything, Christi was glad the relationship so far seemed to have

worked out. Although she realised not many marriages failed during the honeymoon!

‘We have some gifts for the two of you in the bedroom,’ Marsha told the two children

affectionately, laughing softly as the children let out excited yells.

‘We should be going,’ Lucas murmured softly. Christi was just about to agree when

Marsha answered him instead.

‘Why don’t you and Julian get the children’s things from the car?’ she suggested

lightly. ‘Christi and I will go and give this excited pair,’ she ruffled two silky heads teasingly,

‘their gifts.’ And we’ll all be civilised about this, her tone seemed to add.

Lucas gave Christi a questioning look, to which she gave a rueful shrug, following the other

woman from the room. She stood by while Daisy and Robin admired their gifts, an expensive doll

for Daisy, a ful American-footbal outfit for Robin, over which he went into whoops of admiration.

‘Julian thought he would like that,’ Marsha murmured softly as Robin immediately

began to pull the outfit on. She turned to give Christi a rueful smile. ‘I don’t think I had realised

just how much I’d missed a man’s opinion about things until this last month.’

Christi gave a tight smile, uncomfortable with the confidence. After all, until a few weeks

ago, this woman had seemed to consider her part of the enemy!

‘I’m glad you’re happy,’ she returned stiffly.

Marsha raised mocking brows. ‘Are you?’ she derided. ‘Sorry,’ she grimaced

apologetical y, giving a deep sigh. ‘You and I haven’t been the best of friends up to now, but

I hope that will all change now,’ she smiled encouragingly.

Friends? How could the two of them possibly be friends, when Lucas intended using any

way he could to take Marsha’s children from her? Over the last few weeks she had come to

realise that Daisy and Robin were Marsha’s children, too. Ever since she had realised she could

be carrying a child. Even though it was only a possibility she was pregnant, even though she had

never held a child of her own, loved it, she knew her heart would break if anyone should

ever try to take that child away from her. And she didn’t doubt Marsha’s love for Daisy and

Robin, just as Lucas never had.

She was being torn apart in her loyalties, for she knew that, as the children’s father,

Lucas had a right to want the children with him, but, as it became more certain with each

passing day that she carried a child of her own, she could sympathise with another mother’s

love for her children, a love that was unique and irreplaceable.

Marsha was so happy at the moment, content in her marriage, reunited with her children.

But Lucas was so unhappy, wanting the children to stay with him. What an impossible situation

this was!

‘I hope so, too,’ she answered Marsha with a nod. Although she very much doubted it, not

once Lucas had started the battle for the children! Marsha squeezed her arm reassuringly. ‘I

really am happy for you and Lucas, you know,’ she said softly, Daisy and Robin busy on the floor

with their new gifts. ‘I know I was a bitch to you before, but well—I am pleased for you now,’

she repeated firmly. ‘Julian is absolutely marvellous.’ She laughed softly, indulgently.

‘Oh, I know he’s nowhere near as handsome as Lucas, that everyone probably believes I

married him because I fancy myself as a diplomat’s wife. You see!’ she acknowledged without

rancour, as Christi’s cheeks blushed guiltily at the echoing of the comment David had made

when he’d first told her of Marsha’s intended marriage to Julian Holland.

‘Julian seems very nice,’ Christi told her uncomfortably.

‘Oh, he is,’ the other woman nodded with certainty. ‘But he’s so much more than that,’