Marx Girl

“Have you decided what you want?” the waitress asks me a she arrives at the table.

“Oh.” I fake a smile as I try to control my breathing. I’m in such a fluster that I don’t even know what restaurant I’m in. “Um. Can I have a Diet Coke, please? And I’ll just need a few minutes to look at the menu, if that’s okay.”

“Sure, won’t be long.” She smiles before disappearing into the kitchen. My phone dances across the table, the name ‘Ben’ lighting up the screen.

I put my hand over my mouth as my eyes fill with tears. I can’t do this to Eric. I’m not that person.

I hit decline and pinch my lips as I think. It rings again, and I hit decline once more. I look out at the street and I see Ben stride past the restaurant on the phone as he looks around for me. I quickly scramble and hold the menu up to cover my face. My phone rings again, and then a text comes through from Ben.

Where are you?

Answer your phone.

I slide down in my chair in despair. Oh, God.

Go away. Please, go away, you are fucking everything up.

My phone rings again and I put my head in my hands. I can’t deal with this fucking shit.

“Just leave me alone,” I whisper.

For five minutes, I stare into space as I try to process the last twenty-four hours.

Where is Eric? Is he all right? Did he even survive? He’s probably gone to fucking hospital.

I need to check on him. I dial Eric’s number and it rings for a moment, then it goes through to message bank. He declined my call.

I put my head in my hands.

This is one big fucking disaster.

It’s 5:30 p.m. and I have suffered through the longest working day of my life.

Ben keeps calling me, and Eric won’t answer mine. Thankfully, Tash and Abs are meeting me at Oscar’s in ten minutes. I need to vent. I really wish I was going out with them tonight, but I have this damn work thing on. Coffee will have to do. I walk down the steps, out onto the curb.

“So, I’ll pick you up at eight?” Louisa double-checks as she shovels a chocolate muffin into her mouth.

“Yeah, I guess.” I frown. “Where are we going again?”

“Amigos.”

I raise my eyebrows. “At least they have good margaritas there.” I sigh as we begin to walk up the road.

“Oh. He’s back,” Louisa whispers.

I frown. “Who?”

“Cap guy.” She gestures across the road, and I look up to see Ben leaning against the building opposite ours.

I narrow my eyes in anger. “He can fucking stay there. I’m so off him. Throw your muffin at his head.” I link my arm with hers. “Come on, let’s go.” I begin to walk faster, and Ben pushes off the wall and crosses the street to join us.

“Just walk past him,” I whisper.

“Are you fucking crazy?” Louisa whispers. “He’s gorgeous.”

“He’s also a fucking twat. Keep walking.”

“Who cares if he’s a twat if you get to look at him naked. Just tape his mouth shut.”

I drop my head to hide my smile. This isn’t the time to get the giggles. “Will you shut the hell up?” I whisper. “Keep walking.”

“Bridget,” he snaps as I approach him.

“Go away, Ben,” I reply as we walk past him

“No,” he calls from behind us.

“Keep walking,” I whisper.

“Do I have to?” Louisa whispers as she tries to turn her head to look at him. “He’s fucking smoking.” She tries to stop me walking, tugging on our linked arms, and I pull away and turn to face him. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so angry.

Tears threaten to fall because I’m so mad at him… but more than that, I’m furious at myself for caring about this self-absorbed asshole. “Did you have to hit him?” I shake my head as my eyes fill with tears. “Did it make you feel like a big man, Ben?”

His jaw clenches in anger. “He hit me first.”

My eyebrows rise in surprise. “We were kissing!” I cry. “What did you expect?”

His eyes search mine.

Louisa looks between us. “Oh what…wait…you kissed?” she asks, wide-eyed. “You didn’t tell me that part.”

Ben glares at her and she withers and signals up the road with her thumb. “I just might go then.” She looks between us.

“Good idea,” Ben replies with his eyes fixed firmly on me.

I point at him. “Don’t you dare be rude to my friends,” I snap.

He rolls his eyes and Louisa scurries up the road. “Bye,” she calls over her shoulder. “I’m Louisa, by the way. Nice to meet you.” She waves with a smile.

He watches her walk away for a while, and then his eyes turn to me. We stand in silence for a moment.

“I didn’t mean to hit him,” he eventually replies.

“But you did.”