Marx Girl

Brock’s words roll over me again.

But do me a favour, hey? Don’t pretend to support my job in the Forces, because your double standards are fucking pathetic. You constantly tell me how proud you are of me, but when the man you claim to love does the same job, he’s a criminal. You need a fucking reality-check.”

“Get out.”

The man I claim to love.

I frown as I process those words. The man I claim to love.

Maybe I don’t love him. Maybe I’m in love with the idea of being in love with him. Maybe he was just this guy from my past who I hero-worshipped as an excuse to push other men away.

I stare into space as I think. It’s possible.

I take my water back to my room, knowing I need to think on this.

I lie down in the darkness and search my soul for the answers.

Elizabeth reads the typed letter I have passed her. Her glasses are on the end of her nose as she sits behind her big fancy desk. I feel my stomach churn with nerves.

She looks up at me. “You’re resigning?”

I nod. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“I’m moving to America and I’m not sure when I will be returning.”

“When do you want to finish?”

“Effectively. I fly out tonight.”

She frowns. “Your contract clearly states that I need four-weeks’ notice.”

“I’m on holidays,” I reply flatly. “I didn’t need to even come back but I thought it was the right thing to do.” I drop my head. “This is something that is out of my control and I couldn’t have foreseen it. I-I’m sorry to put you out, but I know there are one too many staff members in my area anyway,” I stammer.

She watches me calmly.

“This way, you won’t have to offer a redundancy to anyone later in the year.”

She leans forward and links her hands on top of her desk. “Tell me, Bridget, are you moving for a man?”

My eyes hold hers. “Yes.”

“Is he worth it?”

I smile softly. “Yes, he is.”

She stands and shakes my hand. “Good luck.”

* * *

BEN

I walk down the three steps into Jack’s Bar and look around with a smile on my face. My friends are at a bench table positioned towards the back, and I make my way over to them.

“Hey!” they all call, and we slap hands in greeting. It’s 10:00 p.m. on a Sunday, and the place is just heating up.

I feel a sense of calm sweep over me. I’ve missed my friends. Jed, Rick, Ethan, and Matt are all in the same job and all living in Washington, the same as me.

Not many people understand what we do, but these are my people. We’ve been in the service together from a really young age.

We depend on each other. Rick’s the only one who’s married. His wife, Ally, looks after all of us, the poor bitch. She’s pregnant and has to deal with the five of us fussing over her now. Their baby is due in four months. I’m excited for it.

Ethan and Matt are having a fuckfest at the all-you-can-eat buffet, and Jed has a regular girl who is annoying as fuck. Well, she is to me, anyway.

“How was Australia?” Jed asks as he hands me my beer.

I take it and sit down at the table. “Good.” I sip my beer. “What have you guys been up to?” I turn my attention to Rick. “How’s Ally?”

He smiles broadly. “She’s good! Fucking hot. I’m telling you… pregnant sex is ridiculously good. I can’t get enough of her.”

We all laugh and Ethan frowns. “Why is it so good? I don’t get it. I’ve heard guys say this before.”

Rick shrugs. “I don’t know, it just is.”

“Does it feel different?” Ethan frowns, needing more information. “Like, is it tighter or something?”

Rick frowns as he tries to articulate his thoughts. “It does. She’s all heightened in her senses, but maybe it’s better because I feel different about her. It’s deeper because my baby is growing inside her.”

We all listen intently.

Matt screws up his face. “Yeah, the thought doesn’t do it for me, hey?” He thinks on it. “Like, a baby in bed with me.” He purses his lips. “I may not be able to get it up when my wife is pregnant.” He raises his eyebrows in thought. “I’ll have to buy her a vibrator for the baby shower.”

“You won’t have to worry, since nobody will ever marry you,” I reply dryly into my beer.

“Yeah, and a vibrator would be better than your dick anyway. She’d be excited to finally get off,” Jed adds.

We all chuckle and Matt holds his beer up in a cheers gesture with a cheeky wink.

“How’s your girl? Did she come home with you?” Rick asks, and the table’s attention turns to me.

I pause for a moment. “Yeah, it didn’t work out.” I sip my beer again and they all fall silent. “She’s still in Australia.”