Gym Junkie

“Will I find a boyfriend?” she asks.

I giggle. “Hopefully.”

Callie sits up with renewed vigour. “Come on, girls, let’s go. I’ve got an idea.”

“What?” I frown up at her.

“We’re going to the sex shop to buy some big, hardcore dildos.” She stands and flicks out her towel. “I’ve had enough with this being horny business. Let’s take this into our own hands… literally.”

Meredith’s eyes find mine. “What’s a hardcore dildo?”

Callie smiles mischievously. “Come on and I’ll show you.”

One hour later

Meredith frowns as she studies the huge dildo circling around and vibrating in her hand. “Are you sure that’s what you do with it?” she asks innocently.

“Oh, yes.” Callie smirks. “Completely sure.”

“You just stick it up there?” Meredith pushes it up in the air and frowns.

“Yes.” I smile. This is hilarious. “But you have to use lube, too.”

“Lube?”

“It’s a cream that you put on your vagina to make you wet. It means it doesn’t hurt and just slides right in.”

Meredith is completely fascinated as she watches the huge black dildo swirling in her hands. “I wish I knew about this before we went to the beach.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because this would have been great to do on my towel.”

I put my hands over my face and laugh.

“God’s sake,” Callie snaps as she snatches it out of Meredith’s hands. “You don’t take it everywhere with you. It’s not a book.” She looks at me in disgust. “It’s for at home when you’re in bed.”

Meredith nods. “Okay. I get it.” She thinks for a moment. “Or for the broom closet.”

“Yes,” Callie says. “Private times only.”

We all get one and head to the counter where the cashier rings up our purchases. “Do you need batteries?” the cashier asks.

Meredith glances at Callie and me in question.

“Yes, please,” Callie answers.

I look at the packets of batteries on the counter. Screw it, I don’t want to run out in the middle of something. I pick up four packets for myself, and I hand the other two a packet each.

Meredith reads the instructions on the vibrator’s packaging, frowning when she then looks down at my four packets of batteries. “If you’re going to masturbate for three whole weeks, you need to take time off work,” she tells me loudly.

“Shh.” I look around the shop. I snatch my paper bag from the cashier and nearly run out of the shop doors.

I hear Callie laughing behind me. Buying this shit is always appalling, but buying dildos with Meredith is horrifying.

It’s midnight and I’m alone in the quiet of my bedroom. It’s this time of night that my mind plays tricks on me. I begin to overanalyse and think about things I shouldn’t be thinking about. Reaching over, I take my vibrator and lubricant out of my drawer. I turn the light off and I get comfortable in my bed.

I don’t let myself think about him in the daylight hours, but at night, in circumstances like this, I have no choice.

Brock.

Beautiful Brock.

It’s ironic really, the man who made me feel dirty is the very same man that I fantasise about when I’m alone.

His words have repeated over and over in my head a thousand times in the last six weeks.

“I know women’s bodies… You’re naturally submissive...”

I can see his face so clearly when he said it. I really don’t think he was trying to upset me, but why did he have to plant those thoughts in my mind at all?

Was he warning me?

What he giving me a message that he thought I needed to know?

“Vanilla, passive sex will never do it for you. It just won’t.”

I frown as I remember our conversation. I wish it hadn’t happened. I really do, because it’s planted a seed—an evil seed—that is growing and festering inside of me.

“You need to be taken and loved hard. You loved it, Tully? I know you did. You came so hard that you nearly snapped my dick off. Why don’t you just admit the truth to yourself?”

Was he right? For ten minutes, I lie in the silence and ponder his words. I’ve thought about them a lot. I wish I hadn’t been annoyed with him at the time for saying it. I could have asked him more questions. I could have got him to explain things to me.

Why did he feel the need to warn me about my own body? Am I that inexperienced that I don’t even know what I need? It’s all so confusing. I pick up the vibrator, put it under the blankets, and I open my legs.

I close my eyes and think of him.

My heart races, my legs quiver, and for just a moment, I let myself believe that he’s here with me.

Brock

I fall to the mattress with Tara giggling as she lies down beside me, while Kylie falls from her hands and knees to be by my other side. My heart races out of control from the orgasm I’ve just had. With a girl under each arm, I close my sleepy eyes. I’m exhausted. We’ve been at it for hours. Our legs are a tangled mess, each of us covered in a sheen of perspiration.