Jegudiel (Deadly Virtues 2)

“Beth?”

“Being with Diel …”

It took Noa a few seconds to realize Beth was asking about sex. Noa’s heart fell and she was immediately filled with sorrow. Beth feared romantic intimacy.

Beth took a deep breath. “Did … did it hurt? Like the times they took us in the Circle?”

The sorrow Noa had been feeling soured, then heated into molten fury. This is what the Brethren had done to her sister. All her sisters had been affected somehow. Every time they had been taken against their will, every time they had been hurt—mentally, physically, emotionally—it had stolen something from them. Something that they would never get back.

Noa steadied her breathing, keeping calm. Beth was waiting for Noa to speak. Slipping her hand into Beth’s, Noa said, “It was good.” Noa smiled. “No pain. No force.” She lowered her forehead to Beth’s, and Beth relaxed at the contact. “It was by choice, and that …” Noa trailed off as she realized the truth of her own words. Her heart started beating too fast, her pulse drumming a new kind of rhythm. She thought of Diel—she hadn’t felt any fear being with him, no trepidation. She hadn’t felt in danger. She hadn’t felt any kind of hesitation …

“That what?” Beth whispered, pulling Noa from her thoughts.

Noa took a deep breath. She’d needed Diel. And she hadn’t fought that want. She hadn’t run from whatever unseen force was drawing them together.

Listen to your senses … Noa heard that distant voice again, and she let it seep into her soul. She let her heart trust what had been taken from her, the precious voice that had been silenced when Noa was still a child.

“Choice.” A lump built in Noa’s throat. But she didn’t chase it. She let it sit there, let it carry the emotions she had held back as they built within her, to be explored, not pushed away.

Never to be pushed away again.

Noa cupped Beth’s soft cheek and met her eyes. “It’s choice, Bethy. You get to choose to be with someone. Choose how to do it. Choose to stop if you want to.” She inhaled, letting the cool air quell her anger. “It’s choice. It’s always been about choice. And, last night, I chose him. He chose me.” Noa ran her finger down Beth’s cheek. “One day, if you ever find someone you like, you will have that choice too. The Witch Finders can never take that from us again.”

Beth smiled, and it just about broke Noa’s heart to see it. It didn’t happen often. Despite the darkness that existed in her, Noa loved her sisters. She adored them completely and would protect them with everything she was.

“You were always the bravest one among us,” Beth said.

Noa shook her head. “That’s far from the truth.” She kissed Beth’s head, then stepped back, moving closer to the tunnel to the manor.

As Noa reached the door, Beth asked, “Do you trust them? The Fallen?” Concern shone on her pretty face.

“Do you trust me?” Noa asked, knowing Beth would understand the unspoken additional question—even with darkness in my veins?

Beth’s face softened. “Of course. Priscilla too. You’re my sisters. My family. I never cared that you both were different in that way.” She shrugged. “We all have demons, things that haunt us. Not a single one of us is ‘normal’ after what we’ve been through. Look at me.” Beth stared down at the blue veins on her wrist, ghosting over them with her fingertips. “We’re all plagued with something …” She shook her head, pulling herself from whatever poison she felt swelling the cages of her veins. “Are … are they simply that way too? The Fallen? Plagued in their own individual ways?”

A weight in Noa’s chest lifted as she listened to Beth’s unique way of explaining the fucked-up ways their personal traumas had manifested in each of them.

“You can trust them.” Noa turned, and she heard Beth walking away back into the kitchen. Noa opened the door and sealed herself inside the tunnel. She had only taken four steps around the first corner when she saw movement ahead, someone rushing toward her.

Her body stilled, instinctively bracing to fight, but as she observed the shadowy figure darting toward her, she recognized the broad shoulders, the tall frame and the messy hair.

Her body relaxed, and suddenly Diel was in front of her, eyes wild in the low light. He pressed her up against the wall, and she allowed it.

She welcomed it.

Diel’s body crushed against her. Just as it had been in the folly last night, she was smothered by him, completely consumed. He still wore no shirt, still wore the same jeans as last night and this morning. It was clear that he hadn’t showered yet after the gym, after their joining. He had been waiting for her to return. That thought made electricity sizzle in her chest.