Sassy in Lingerie (Lingerie 8)

“It’s not the same thing, and you know it,” I said quietly. “And you told me you would try, but it doesn’t seem like you’re putting in any effort at all. The second you look at him, it’s like we’re starting over from the beginning again. We need to move forward, make progress. This man means everything to me. I want this to work…I need it to work.” I didn’t want to get emotional in the restaurant, but my eyes were welling up with tears.

Bones turned toward me. “Vanessa, it’ll be alright.” He kept his voice quiet, so quiet I wasn’t sure if anyone else could hear it.

“I’ve already told you that I would leave him if we couldn’t get past this,” I said, ignoring Bones’s attempt to calm me down. “I’ve already shown you how much you mean to me, even if that hurts Griffin. Now you need to meet me halfway. You aren’t even trying. All you do is insult him over and over, and it needs to stop.”

My father didn’t show a hint of remorse. “I told you I wouldn’t be nice to him.”

“And that’s fine with me,” Bones said. “Let it go, Vanessa. I told you I’m bulletproof.”

My father’s gaze shifted back to him, the anger still heavy.

I ran my fingers through my hair, my insides ripped apart. “Just try. You said you would, and you aren’t.”

My mother turned to my father. “She’s right, Crow.”

My father breathed through his flared nostrils, irritated.

“We need to uphold our end of the deal,” my mother said. “Insulting him and ignoring him don’t qualify.”

“What do you want me to say?” my father demanded. “You want me to ask about work? Have fun killing people this week? Or you want me to ask about his family? About his rapist father and his whore mother?”

Bones took a deep breath, the insult piercing him.

“Father.” I glared at him. “Leave his mom out of it. She had nothing to do with anything that happened to us.”

“She fucked my enemy,” my father said. “So she’s my enemy.”

I hated my father like this. I hated his cruelty. I didn’t even recognize him anymore.

My mom rested her hand on his shoulder. “Crow—”

My father pushed his chair back as he stood up. He stormed out of the restaurant, obviously having no intention of returning. He weaved through the tables then disappeared out the entryway.

None of us moved.

Mom didn’t go after him.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob to myself like there was no one around.

Bones stood up next.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Have dinner with your mother.” He pushed his chair in and walked behind me. “I’ll talk to your dad.”

“Just leave him alone,” I said. “You can’t talk to him like this.”

He leaned down toward me, one hand on the table. “Watch me.” He kissed my temple before he walked away and left the restaurant.

I turned back to my mom, my eyes still wet. “I hate this…I hate this so fucking much.”

My mother gave me a look of pity, a sadness in her eyes and her frown. “I know you aren’t used to seeing your father like this. It’s been a while since I’d seen him behave this way. It’s as if he’s returned to thirty years in the past. His life of peace has been disturbed, and he can’t stand it.”

“Well, it’s the first time in my life I’ve been happy, and I don’t want to lose it.”

“You’ve been happy before, sweetheart.”

“Not like this.” I stared at the flickering candle between us. “Mom, I love him. I know he’s the worst possible person I could pick, but it’s how I feel. I’ll never love anyone else the way I love him. I wish you understood that…”

She watched me, her blue eyes gentle. “I do understand, Vanessa. I can see it written all over your face. I can see it expressed in your artwork. I can see the depth of your feelings and the complicated layers surrounding it. It’s not that I don’t understand. Sometimes, we can’t choose who we love.”

“Then why can’t you guys just accept him?”

“Vanessa, while you may love him with all your heart, it’s difficult to expect us to forget everything we’ve been through. It was before your time, so it’s hard for you to comprehend, but his father did many terrible things to us…”

My heart broke when I imagined what that man had done to my mother. “But he’s not him. You’re punishing him for something he didn’t do.”

“Up until he met you, he didn’t seem to be that different.”

“But he is different. He would never hurt me or any of you.”

“You’re right,” she said. “He probably wouldn’t. But you’re asking us to welcome a man into our family that we despise. Remember, who you marry is who we marry. He will be a son to your father. He is the last man your father wants to have as a son, the son of his greatest enemy.”