Divine in Lingerie (Lingerie 9)

He leaned forward with his forearms on his knees, his head bowed to the floor.

I sat in silence, feeling every bone in my body break. My heart hurt in a brand-new way. It was a kind of sadness I’d never felt before. Bones had told me he loved me, and I’d sent him away. But that pain was nothing compared to what I felt now. I’d done everything to make this relationship work, had done everything to keep the man I shouldn’t love. But now we’d hit a dead end.

There was no moving forward.

Bones turned his face toward me, his pragmatic eyes empty of the sadness I was feeling. His carved jawline and hard cheekbones showed a masculine man who didn’t feel anything at all. Devoid of emotion, as if our lives hadn’t just been ruined, he stared at me like this didn’t destroy him the way it destroyed me. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“You’re sorry?” I whispered. I swallowed the lump in my throat, but I couldn’t swallow back the tears that were about to emerge. I woke up that morning happier than I’d been in a long time. The second Bones left, I pictured the way he would come home. I pictured the way we would start our lives together, the way he would ask me to be his wife. He wouldn’t get down on one knee and make a romantic gesture, but he would still sweep me off my feet.

His hand cupped my cheek, and he pressed his forehead against mine. “I did everything to keep you. I proved myself to your family. I played by their rules. I made every sacrifice they asked of me. Your father was never going to accept me. He was always looking for a reason…and now he has one.”

“But he said—”

“Doesn’t matter. He changed his mind.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the tears break the surface. “I can’t believe this.”

He grabbed my hand on my thigh and squeezed it.

“I just can’t…”

“I know, baby.”

He’d always been right. He knew we were destined to fail. There was never any hope. My family could never look past the crimes committed by Bones’s father. We would always stand on opposite sides of the battlefield. “It shouldn’t matter how our relationship started. The only thing that should matter is what it is now.”

“He doesn’t see it that way. He never will.”

“It’s my life…”

He shook his head slightly. “He doesn’t see it that way either. He said you’ll hate him for a while, but one day, you’ll thank him for this. You’ll marry a good guy who will treat you right…and you’ll forget about me.”

“I’ll never forget you. I don’t want anyone else.”

He closed his eyes.

I gripped his hand tighter. I felt him slip away even though he was right beside me. I felt my heart tear irreparably. I watched my entire life change, watched myself slip away. I couldn’t picture myself with another man, with anyone other than Bones. I’d already planned out the rest of our lives. My family was the most important thing in the world to me, but they shouldn’t have this much power over my future. I wasn’t a sixteen-year-old girl anymore. I was a grown woman who knew exactly what she wanted. “I tried doing this the right way. I tried to let my family see the man you really are. I tried to bring both of you together, to accept one another. But if they can’t accept us…then I don’t care.”

Bones opened his eyes and pulled his face away so he could look at me better. Confusion entered his gaze, affection shortly afterward.

“You’re the man I want—and that’s final.” If I had to split the holidays between Bones and my family, I would deal with it. If I had to watch my father stare at me with disappointment and disapproval, I would accept it. If I didn’t see my family as much as I used to because they couldn’t tolerate the man I loved, then that was the sacrifice I had to make.

“Baby.” His fingers moved under my chin. “That means a lot to me.”

“I love you…” When I blinked, more tears came. “I love you more than I’ll ever love another man. I can’t live without you…I don’t want to. I don’t want anyone else to be my husband. What we have is real, intense, beautiful. I know our relationship didn’t start the right way…but I would never change that.”

His fingers slid down my neck, right over my pulse, and to my shoulder. His gaze shifted away from mine, and he watched his fingers slide underneath my shirt so he could feel my beating heart. He was still for a long time, like he was counting the number of beats per minute. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. And you’ll always be the only woman I will ever love. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, no sacrifice I wouldn’t make. And that’s why I could never let you do this.”