Fine in Lingerie (Lingerie 11)

“He’s eight. I haven’t seen him in three years, not since Egor captured me. There were times when I wanted to kill myself in Egor’s captivity. The only reason why I didn’t was because of my son…because I have to survive for him.” My eyes watered as I remembered my darkest times, when I thought about hanging myself in my own prison cell. The temptation rose several times. Death sounded so sweet, sounded so wonderful. My little boy was the only reason I resisted. “Please help me, Carter. My son needs me. You love your mother…imagine life without her. Even as a grown man, you still need her.”

He bowed his head, unable to look at me.

I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.

He complied, but his eyes were still full of self-loathing.

“Please,” I whispered.

“Why didn’t you mention this before?”

“And risk you using him against me?” I whispered. “Egor threatened to do it all the time, but he never did because I always complied with his demands.”

He pushed my hand away, forcing my fingers off his chin.

“Carter, do the right thing. My son doesn’t have a father. All he has is me. I don’t want him to grow up and forget about me…” Tears built up in my eyes until they started to fall down my cheeks. “I want to raise my son into a man. I want to go to his soccer games. I want to be there every day, to make up for all the time I lost. I can’t do that unless you help me. So please help me.”

He stepped back, his hands moving to his hips. “You know I would help you if I could. But if I set you free, he’ll come after me and my family. My family is innocent. I can’t involve them in this.”

“And my son is innocent,” I said. “I’m innocent. You said you would help all those women… Now help me.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Doesn’t matter. My only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Egor spotted me in a bar, and in that moment, he decided I was his and he would never let me go. I had no power to stop him. He put a bag over my head as soon as I walked outside, and his men threw me in the back of a van. How can you let him get away with it?”

He rubbed the back of his head. “I won’t change my mind, Mia. My family is everything to me.”

“So is mine…”

He dragged his hands down his chest, his movements accompanied with a sigh. “You’re asking me to make a sacrifice I can’t make. I’m very sorry that you’re in this position. I’m sorry that your son is out there somewhere without his mother. I really wish things were different…I mean that. But you’re asking for more than I can give.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, knowing the knife was too far away for me to reach. “If you do this for me, I will do anything for you. I will be your maid and your fantasy. I will do whatever you ask…for the rest of my life. I would be eternally bound to you…always.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, intrigued by the request.

“I will let you whip me whenever you want. I will let you do whatever you wish. I will be obedient and grateful. I will make your house spotless and put dinner on the table every night. I will be your servant for as long as you want. Just give me back my son…give me back my life.”

He dropped his gaze again, remaining silent.

I took his silence as a good sign. Instead of rejecting me right away, he actually considered my request. I was giving him something he wanted, a dark fantasy he wanted to fulfill. He wanted to ruin my skin with more scars. He wanted to make me cry as he fucked me. He could have all of those things, turn me into his private whore, if he made this sacrifice for me. It was something I would gladly give…in exchange for my son.

He shook his head slightly. “It doesn’t change the problem. I’ll never be able to enjoy you if I’m constantly at war with Egor.”

“Then figure out a way to avoid the war.”

“How so?” he demanded.

“Pretend I killed myself.”

“He’s going to want to see proof.”

“Then give him proof,” I said. “Make it happen. Do something.”

He sighed again, frustrated to his core. “You’re simplifying everything.”

“No. I’m giving you solutions.”

He rubbed the back of his head. “It’s still a risk I’m taking.”

“If you give me back, you’re still taking a risk.”

He dropped his hand, his eyebrow raised. “How so?”

Carter wasn’t evil the way Egor was. The second he handed me over, the guilt would eat him alive. Knowing my son would always be alone in the world would be a burden he would have to carry. He would have to live with the fact that a mother and son were permanently separated. “Because you won’t be able to live with yourself.”