Fine in Lingerie (Lingerie 11)

“Oh…”

“Go to sleep, baby.” She was probably exhausted from stressing all night, from being upset for almost an entire week.

“I want to see you when you get home.”

“I’ll wake you.”

“Promise?” she asked. “Don’t let me sleep. I would much rather see you right away.”

I should feel awkward with her clinginess in front of her father, but strangely, I didn’t. I didn’t care at all. I loved her and she loved me. There was no reason to be embarrassed about it. “Promise.”

“Alright, I’ll let you go,” she said. “Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” I hung up and returned the phone to my pocket, not looking at her father’s reaction to the conversation I’d had with his daughter. I didn’t care about his opinion anyway.

After a long stretch of silence, he addressed it. “Thank you for making my daughter so happy.” He didn’t look at me when he spoke, staring straight ahead. “You’ve put up with me, my brother, a bunch of bullshit…never gave up on her. I don’t care how much you hate me. Even if you always hate me, that’s fine with me. Regardless, I’m grateful she has you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, for my little girl to have the right man.” As if he hadn’t just said something heartfelt, he called his wife and told her he was fine.

As he predicted, she cried on the phone a bit.

Like a real man, he listened to it. Consoled her. Told her he would be home soon. Gave her a shoulder to cry on even though he wasn’t there for her in person. After several minutes, he got off the phone with her and got comfortable, prepared to sleep for the rest of the drive.

I kept thinking about his conversation with Vanessa, how she loved her father so deeply, called him her best friend. They had a close relationship, remaining loyal to each other regardless of what life threw at them. I never wanted to come between them, but I knew I already was.

How could I hate a man who loved Vanessa as much as I did? Who would do anything for her, even risk turning her against him? Crow always had his daughter’s best interest at heart, and I had to admit I was the worst possible guy for any man’s daughter. It was unrealistic to expect him to behave in any other way. I wouldn’t make excuses for the hurtful things he did and said, especially when he got carried away, but when I witnessed their tender relationship with my own eyes, I knew I couldn’t be a wedge between them.

I could bring them closer together.

Nothing would make Vanessa happier than to see me build a relationship with her father, to become part of her family in a meaningful way. After everything I put her through, it was the least I could do. Vanessa and I were going to spend the rest of our lives together and start a family. Holding on to this hatred for Crow wasn’t realistic.

I should let it go.

There were better people to hate besides Crow Barsetti, people who deserved it more. I respected this man in a lot of ways, the way he could walk in there so calmly and establish peace, the way he took his son’s place without thinking twice about it, the way he listened to his wife cry and carried her pain with him. I admired this man because he’d raised a strong daughter, the perfect woman to spend my life with. Without him, I never would have found her. I would have spent my entire life alone, never knowing love. I didn’t believe in soul mates, but I certainly believed in that.

I had a terrible past, but perhaps everything was meant to happen…to lead me here. My forgiveness would bury the past for good. The blood war that had continued for three generations would be buried in the past like the dead. I would never be a Barsetti, but my children would have Barsetti blood.

Our bloodlines would fuse together and become one.

Crow woke up when I pulled onto the gravel. He ran his fingers through his hair then wiped the sleep from his eyes. He looked at the front door, the large wooden slab that reached the ceiling of the first floor. The lights in the windows turned on as everyone in the house woke up. Before Crow got out of the truck, the front door flung open and Pearl stepped out first.

Crow got out and watched his wife run to him in the darkness, her bare feet crunching against the gravel with her movements. She jumped into his arms, her legs and arms hooking around his torso.

I stared at them, immediately thinking of Vanessa and me. She greeted me in the same way, with overwhelming affection. Regardless of who was watching, she loved me openly, showing the depth of our romantic relationship.