Dare You to Hate Me

Porter still plays like Mom and Dad said he would all those years ago.

“Ivy?” someone calls from behind me.

I turn quickly to see Raine walking toward me with a smile on her face. A few of the girls from the house are with her, all glancing in our direction as they settle at a table nearby. Most of them look away, but one—Hannah—is still watching closely with interest in her eyes. Besides Raine, the petite brunette currently staring was the only other person I didn’t totally dislike. We rarely spoke, but there was always the slightest flinch whenever Sydney said something rude to me that made me think she couldn’t be that bad if she didn’t approve of their leader’s cattiness.

“Hey,” Raine greets.

“Hi.”

Her eyes go to the screen, her lips stretching a little more. “Who’s that? He’s handsome.”

I want to roll my eyes, but I don’t. She’s not wrong. My little brother doesn’t look so little anymore. He’s grown into his big ears, and he’s filled out based on the way his gear fits him. Mom used to say that if he grew into his feet, he’d tower over every single one of us someday.

Sighing, I murmur, “He’s my brother.”

I’m sure if I looked, I’d see some form of surprise on my former hou

semate’s face. Since moving, I see her at Aiden’s place frequently, but I don’t say much. When she knows I’m downstairs she’ll break away from Caleb to say hi. Sometimes we’ll watch TV. Other times we’ll do homework together after asking each other how our weeks have been. Raine is sweet for putting in an effort, yet my tongue remains lead in my mouth when my brain pushes me to make conversation with her.

“I can see it now.” She points toward his eyes, which are the same bright shade of unique honey brown as mine. Everyone used to say it’s where the similarities stopped in both looks in personality. Porter was the spoiled youngest child, and I was the bitter older one.

I guess nobody was wrong in that assessment, but it didn’t stop me from being irritated over the commentary when they didn’t know the reasons I had to be bitter.

I don’t want to see your face again.

My heart threatens to crack further, but I hold it together the best way I can. Those words propelled me to act—to run.

“I didn’t know he played,” I admit. It’s a whisper to the air, yet Raine still hears as I examine the computer screen. His hair isn’t nearly as curly as it was but cut short and styled with either gel or sweat.

“You don’t stay in touch?”

Licking my bottom lip and wincing at the slice of pain over how chapped they are from the cold weather, I shake my head. “I don’t talk to anyone in my family. It’s…uh, complicated.” My attention shifts back to her. “I want to reach out though. Maybe give him my number if I work up the courage to.”

The softness on her face returns. “I think that’s a great idea. I’m sure he’ll look forward to hearing from you.”

I swallow my doubt. “Yeah.”

If I were in his shoes, I’m not sure I’d feel the same. The night I left home I cracked his bedroom door open slowly to see his sleeping form in bed. I walked in, pulled the blanket up to tuck him in like I used to help Mom do, and whispered, “Good luck.”

We haven’t seen each other since dinner that night, where the last words he said to me were, “I wish I were an only child.”

Someone calls Raine’s name, causing her to look over her shoulder and lift a finger up in wait. When she turns back to me, I’m not sure why I blurt, “Can I ask you something?” but I do.

Her eyebrows practically dart up to her hairline. “Of course. Sure.”

Rubbing my thighs with the heels of my palms, I stifle a small sigh. “Has Aiden been happy? I mean, like, really happy. Before I…”

She blinks slowly, then a knowing smile creeps up at the corners of her lips as she drops her gaze to the floor for a moment to collect herself. “Aiden has always been serious about everything since he got here. Caleb could barely get a word out of him at first. Some of the guys thought he was mute or stuck up until my boyfriend managed to crack his shell. When you showed up…” Her shoulders lift. “Cal mentioned that you two knew each other from when you were younger. I think it’s great that you both wound up here even if it was by random luck. Aiden’s dedication to building his future probably produces some happiness, but personally, I think he deserves more of it. Sports can only get people so much, you know?”

“Money makes people happy.”

“But people are the biggest source of it,” she counters pointedly.

I press my lips together for a moment. “I think people can also cause the most pain in the long run, especially the people closest to you.”

For a few heartbeats, she’s quiet. “That’s a sad way to look at it. But I guess you’re not wrong. The people we care about most have power to hurt us the worst.” Not expecting her agreement, my eyes go to hers. She adds, “But that doesn’t mean they do. A lot of times people use that as an excuse to not even try.”

This time, I’m the one staring down at my ratty winter boots. When I saw the first thin coat of white powder on the ground, I muttered the whole time I laced them up.