Saxonhurst Secrets

‘I know nothing about that. What I do know is that you are using these premises for – immoral purposes.’

‘Immoral?’ The pair gasped.

‘Say it ain’t so,’ added Sebastian.

‘It isn’t true,’ said Kasia. ‘There is nothing immoral in what we do.’

‘Pornography?’ Adam thundered, suddenly feeling the fire of righteousness burn up his natural diffidence. ‘Perversion? Fornication?’

‘Wow,’ breathed Sebastian. ‘We should hire you. You’d be an amazing for that witchfinder script we were thinking of shooting.’

‘I’ll give you some advice,’ said Kasia, her own indignation matching Adam’s for strength. ‘You stay out of our sex life and out of our legitimate business, and we’ll stay out of your church. Is that a deal?’

‘Legitimate business? Does the council know what you do here? Have you registered it?’

‘Of course.’ Sebastian sighed. ‘There’s nothing illegal here. We’re a cottage industry. A film studio. We’ve filled in all the forms. We have a legal team. All performers are of age and consent fully to everything they do. And it’s not the kind of porn you might be imagining. The kind you might have watched as a furtive, obsessive adolescent …’

‘I’ve never!’

‘Well, maybe that’s your problem. Anyway, as I was saying, what we make isn’t the standard gonzo porn with blow-up blondes and increasing levels of misogyny and degradation. We hate that, don’t we, Kasia?’

‘Hate it,’ she reiterated. ‘We had a vision, Seb and I, of a different kind of erotic film. All about the woman’s pleasure. All about what she wants. You know, this thing about women being less visual seems crazy to me. If I wasn’t visual, why would I have all these tattoos?’

She pulled up her sleeve, revealing an intricate folk art design.

‘It’s Polish,’ she explained. ‘Like me.’

‘You make perverted films about female – sexuality?’

‘That’s right.’ Kasia patted him on the arm. ‘Very perverted, mostly. You want to see one?’

‘I want you to stop,’ said Adam. ‘This isn’t appropriate. It’s wrong. It’s morally reprehensible.’

‘I feel sorry for you,’ said Kasia, turning to the tea tray. ‘You are missing so much. But I think you must go now.’

‘This is not the end of this,’ Adam warned, calculating how best to make a dignified and emphatic exit. ‘The village won’t accept it.’

‘Is that a threat?’ asked Sebastian with a smile, taking Adam’s elbow and steering him from the room. ‘We don’t like those.’

Adam shook the man off, almost sending him into a backward tumble.

‘Do not touch me!’

He opened the door himself, then leapt back when he realised he ha

d almost steamrollered a figure on the doorstep.

‘Watch yourself, love.’

It was Evie, clothed now, in a pair of tiny denim hotpants and a gingham shirt knotted at her navel. Her hair hung down to her waist, crowned by a whimsical little garland of spring flowers.

Blood rushed to Adam’s groin and he cowered like a wounded animal, standing aside to let her pass.

She ignored him, chatting to Sebastian and Kasia over his head.

‘Won’t be up to much tonight, sorry. Had a horny bastard of a day. Feel like I’ve shagged a shire horse. Do you mind if I stick with a bit of oral instead? I’ll give, no bother.’

‘We’ll work with you, sweetie,’ said Kasia, hurriedly drawing her away from the hall and into a side room. ‘We’re flexible.’