Fast and Loose

‘Nature’s a bitch,’ muttered Tilda.

She might have been right.

The toilets were empty, so I rushed into the nearest stall and dialled Tom.

I was expecting to have to leave a voicemail, but he picked up after half a dozen rings.

‘Ella?’ he bellowed down the phone. Obviously he was somewhere noisy.

‘Yes. Can you talk for a minute?’

‘What?’

I repeated myself.

‘Hang on. I’ll go somewhere quieter.’ There was a pause, and the kerfuffle behind his voice receded somewhat. ‘Hello again.’

‘Where are you?’

‘Finnegans. Don’t ask. You?’

‘I’m watching some gorgeous creatures in corsets pleasure each other, actually.’

‘You’re what? Can you get me a ticket?’

I laughed. ‘It’s a burlesque show. Tilda got free tickets from Ruth in Ad Sales.’

‘Oh, you’re with Tilda.’

He sounded deflated, which had the opposite effect on me.

‘I am, and Jodie and Miles.’

‘Miles, eh? Watch that one.’

‘I don’t know why you all think he’s interested. He hasn’t made a glimmer of a move on me, and he probably never will. Which is fine with me. Anyway, I wanted to tell you something. The eagle has landed.’

‘The eagle?’

‘Our friend Pet Katie. She’s invited me to meet up with her tomorrow afternoon.’

‘Seriously? When? Where?’

‘Apparently there’s some kind of event on at the Plough.’

‘The Plough? The biker place?’

‘I assume so.’

‘What sort of event? My mind’s boggling.’

‘Well, I don’t really know. She called it a munch.’

‘A munch? Sounds like a lesbian supper club. Is she a lesbian?’

‘I don’t…know.’ This hadn’t occurred to me. Was she viewing our communication as flirtation, and our meeting as a date? I could be getting into deeper waters than I’d anticipated here. ‘I don’t think so.’

‘Sounds like you might need backup. Is this munch open to the public?’